dollsome: (office | kelly/andy)
[personal profile] dollsome
Title: something like star-crossed
Pairing: Kelly/Andy
Spoilers: through "The Job"
Word Count: 1,339
Rating: PG
Summary: Andy introduces Kelly to the wonderful world of Star Wars.
Author's Note: So, apparently, now I'm actually incapable of watching a movie without writing a fic afterwards which involves Kelly and Andy watching that same movie. I don't know what this says about me. Maybe I don't want to know.

Also, I know that it seems like a bit of a stretch that someone hasn't seen Star Wars, but three of my best friends in fact have not, so I'm writing from experience here, people. It's a dark and dire situation if there ever was one.


--

“Wait a second – hold up. You’ve never seen Star Wars?”

“No,” Kelly replies, wrinkling her nose. “It’s just a bunch of ugly aliens and spaceship battles and stuff, isn’t it? I mean, what’s great about that?”

Andy clutches his heart all dramatically, like she just stabbed him or something. “Oh. Oh, Little Snapple.” He pauses, shaking his head. “How little you know.”

“Shut up,” Kelly orders, but she can’t help smiling.

--

His apartment is like the most depressing place she’s ever been. The walls are covered in framed flyers for Here Comes Treble! concerts, and none of the furniture matches. Which sort of explains the ties.

Still, she can tell that he cleaned up before she came over, and there’s something sweet about the teetering pile of Maxims and Lost behind-the-scenes magazines stacked on the coffeetable.

Andy keeps laughing all weird and saying dumb stuff like ‘there’s the sofa’ and ‘check out my super-sweet coffeetable’. He lists off all the kinds of soda he has like twice.

“Andy, you’re being a spaz,” she informs him when he starts with the soda list a third time.

He stops right in the middle of saying Cherry Coke and goes, sort of sadly, “Yes. Yes, I am.”

Kelly shoves his arm lightly, smiling. “What, like you’ve never had a girl over here before?”

“Psh, no!” He crosses his arms in front of his chest and keeps doing that weird, cocky fake laugh of his. “I’ve had tons of girls over here. The ladies love la casa de Bernard, believe you me. In fact, I’m thinking of keeping tampons in the bathroom next to the gigantic box of condoms. Ooh, gotta get more of those, by the way. I’m almost out, because of how much I use them. The . . . condoms, not the tampons.”

Kelly just stares at him. For a really long time.

“That was . . . lame and unfunny,” Andy finally concludes, biting his lip. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Kelly relents. Even though he can be such a loser, she can never really stay annoyed at him. It’s weird.

They settle down onto the couch next to each other, and as soon as the movie starts, Andy finally seems to chill out. He stretches his arm across the back of the couch, and she can sort of feel it against her shoulders, but it doesn’t seem skeezy or anything. It’s just Andy. It’s nice.

To her surprise, Star Wars is actually kind of awesome. The special effects are pretty impressive considering these were made like forty years ago or whatever, and Princess Leia kicks ass, and that little squeaky robot is really cute, and don’t even get her started on Han Solo, because oh my God.

“They’re totally like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in space,” she concludes with a happy sigh ten minutes into the second movie.

“Who?” Andy asks, sounding confused.

Kelly sits up straighter and turns to look at him. “No. No way have you not seen Pride & Prejudice.”

“Guilty,” Andy admits.

“Okay, we’re totally watching that sometime,” she insists, tapping her fist against his chest lightly for emphasis. “Keira Knightley is sooo amazing.”

“If you insist,” Andy says, grinning.

She totally cries when Han Solo gets turned into stone at the end. She doesn’t feel that lame about it, though, because Andy sounds sort of choked up too, and he’s seen it like thirty times.

The thing is, she’s not really used to nights out anymore now that she’s lame and single –she keeps on getting sleepier and sleepier, and Andy is yawning a lot next to her. By the time Leia's all scantily clad and chained to the nasty blob in the third one, they’ve pretty much fallen asleep on top of each other. She’s startled awake all the way by her Kelly Clarkson ringtone at like one in the morning. (She doesn’t care what anybody says, Since U Been Gone is totally the most empowering song in the history of ever.)

She sits up to reach for her purse on the coffeetable, and Andy sort of mumbles something in his sleep and moves so his head’s in her lap. She rolls her eyes and digs her phone out. She doesn’t think to check who’s calling. “Hello?”

Big mistake.

“Hey,” says the most unwelcome voice on the planet.

Her heart is beating really hard. “Ryan?”

“Yeah,” he confirms awkwardly.

She watches the DVD logo bounce from corner to corner on the TV screen. “Oh.”

It’s quiet for like six seconds.

“So. I think there’s a murderer in my apartment,” Ryan says. She can tell he’s completely uncomfortable, because he actually sounds friendly and sort of animated. “For real, this time.”

“Probably. You’re in New York. There’s tons of creepy killers there and stuff,” she says, and hangs up. Her hands are shaking.

The phone rings again like twenty seconds later. Usually, this would be like the best thing ever – look who’s stalkerish now, thank you very much – but instead, she’s just kind of pissed that he ruined her night.

“Kelly—” he begins when she picks up.

“Listen, Ryan, I can’t really talk to you,” she cuts in.

“I know,” he says patiently. “I get why you feel that way, totally, but—”

“I’m actually over at my new boyfriend’s house right now, and you’re kind of interrupting us,” Kelly says matter-of-factly. She has no idea where that came from, but she sounds totally convincing when she says it. It’s sort of scary and sort of awesome.

“Oh,” Ryan says blankly. “Uh. Okay.”

“Yeah, so, later, okay?”

“Yeah.” He sounds bummed. Serves him right, the stupid bastard. “Later.”

She lets out a slow, shaky breath and puts her cell phone back in her purse. When she looks down at her lap, it’s to see that Andy’s eyes are open. He’s staring up at her, looking sleepy and disoriented and a little bit cute.

“I’m your new boyfriend?” he asks sleepily.

“Of course not, stupid,” she responds, kinda softly. “But I had to say something to make him feel like crap.”

“Oh,” Andy says. “Right.”

He just keeps looking up at her, all concerned.

“I hate him,” she mumbles.

After a second, he reaches over and grabs one of her hands. “Me too.”

All of a sudden she feels like crying, which is stupid. She swallows and blinks a couple of times, and then pushes his hair back a little the way she always used to do with Ryan. “You’re a really good friend, Andy.”

“Thank you,” he says after a few seconds. He sounds surprised. “Um, you too.”

She sniffles just once, and then pulls her hand from his. “Hey, get up.”

“Sorry,” he mutters, and scrambles off of her like he’s afraid he’s gonna get slapped or something.

“No,” she says, and catches his arm. “I just need something to lean on. That’s all.”

He looks over at her and starts to smile. It still disorients her sometimes, that she makes him smile so much. It seems sort of unnatural. “Oh. Okay, then.”

She settles against him. “Okay, we were at the part with the nasty blob thing.”

“That would be Jabba the Hutt.”

“Whatever,” she says, rolling her eyes at him. “Just start the movie.”

He reaches for the remote, and goes into the scene selection to find the part where they left off. As he’s shuffling through the scenes, he turns and glances at her.

“Hey,” he says, a little awkwardly, “If you, uh, ever want to tell anyone else that I’m your boyfriend, to get back at Ryan, just . . . know that I am totally cool with that, okay?”

“Okay,” she replies after a moment. “Thanks.”

He grins. “No problemo.”

He finds their spot in the movie, and after a few minutes, she lets her head droop onto his shoulder. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything, she decides. Leia fully kissed Luke on the mouth in Empire Strikes Back, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that that’s not going anywhere.


Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: 2007-07-06 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quesrah.livejournal.com
Oh Andy. Poor pathetic Andy.

Date: 2007-07-11 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Ain't that the truth.

Thanks for reading! :)

Date: 2007-07-06 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyrafic.livejournal.com
!!!!!! LITTLE SNAPPLE. The soda list for the third time! That explains the ties.

“So. I think there’s a murderer in my apartment,” Ryan says. She can tell he’s completely uncomfortable, because he actually sounds friendly and sort of animated. “For real, this time.”

“Probably. You’re in New York. There’s tons of creepy killers there and stuff,” she says, and hangs up. Her hands are shaking.


Amazing insights into both of them, for reals. And then I love her just cutting him OFF with the new boyfriend thing and man, this was just so perfect.

Date: 2007-07-11 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Yay, thank youuuuu. :)

Date: 2007-07-06 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annakovsky.livejournal.com
Oh God, this is so delightful in every way. Andy being all spastic and excited just that she's there! Kelly blowing off Ryan!

“I’ve had tons of girls over here. The ladies love la casa de Bernard, believe you me. In fact, I’m thinking of keeping tampons in the bathroom next to the gigantic box of condoms. Ooh, gotta get more of those, by the way. I’m almost out, because of how much I use them. The . . . condoms, not the tampons.”

Ahahahahahahaha, AWESOME.

Also, the teetering piles of Maxims and Lost behind-the-scenes magazines are SO ANDY I can't even take it. PERFECTION.

Date: 2007-07-11 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! :D :D

Date: 2007-07-06 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pennylane83.livejournal.com
Gah, this was SO amazing. Andy is just such a spaz but so cute about having Kelly over at his apartment. Listing off the soda! The teetering piles of Maxim! Heeeeee. Oh man, and Kelly blowing off Ryan? I really hope we can see a scene like that next year because how awesome. This was so great!

Date: 2007-07-11 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! :)

Date: 2007-07-06 01:49 am (UTC)
ext_20028: (the office: andy knows)
From: [identity profile] michellek.livejournal.com
In fact, I’m thinking of keeping tampons in the bathroom next to the gigantic box of condoms. Ooh, gotta get more of those, by the way. I’m almost out, because of how much I use them. The . . . condoms, not the tampons.

That is creepy and completely awesome. Oh, Andy. ♥

This was awesome. I loved Little Snapple (omg, genius) and the great little details about Andy's apartment and the way he acted when Kelly was in said apartment. Perfect.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Thank you, thank you! :)

Date: 2007-07-06 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-bennie.livejournal.com
Soda Liiiiiiist! Seriously, I've been saving up reading all of your Kelly/Andys as of late, to read them all in one ginormous awesome time, but Star Wars was too good to pass up and I couldn't wait anymore.

This is so wonderful, I can't even handle it. Oh, THOSE TWO. You write them both so beautifully, and Andy's apartment is a place I want to visit. And Kelly cutting Ryan off! And loving Han Solo!

“Hey,” he says, a little awkwardly, “If you, uh, ever want to tell anyone else that I’m your boyfriend, to get back at Ryan, just . . . know that I am totally cool with that, okay?”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh <3<3

Date: 2007-07-11 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Hee, thank you so much! :)

Date: 2007-07-06 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agate.livejournal.com
Dude, when I was in college I had two friends who had never seen Star Wars and we had to make them watch the trilogy. So this is TOTALLY plausible. It is also TOTALLY delightful. The last line made me lol, and Andy needs to never stop calling Kelly Little Snapple because it is SO ADORABLE I can't even stand it.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Heh, I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows people who haven't seen Star Wars. It's a little bit tragic, isn't it?

Thank you oh so much for reading. :)

Date: 2007-07-06 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mozarts-friend.livejournal.com
Oh yessss!! I seriously love you for writing this! I've been stock-piling your Kelly/Andy fics in my bookmarks to read, but I HAD to read this one straight away, hahaha. Isn't writing this pair freaking addictive?? I hope you keep writing them 4-eva (what? Kelly would totally write it that way, heee)

Date: 2007-07-06 03:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lianhanshee.livejournal.com
Speaking of writing them 4-eva.... Please to be taking your own advice! Kthx!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-07-11 03:03 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2007-07-06 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lianhanshee.livejournal.com
So brilliant and spot-on. I mean, He looks over at her and starts to smile. It still disorients her sometimes, that she makes him smile so much. It seems sort of unnatural. “Oh. Okay, then.” Oh, it just makes my little Kandy heart flutter. And I can't think of anything more perfectly Andy than this: "In fact, I’m thinking of keeping tampons in the bathroom next to the gigantic box of condoms. Ooh, gotta get more of those, by the way. I’m almost out, because of how much I use them. The . . . condoms, not the tampons."

Please never stop writing Kelly/Andy. It totally makes my day whenever a new fic from you pops up, and it's just icing on the cake that they're so perfect.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Aww, thank you so much! :) I'm so glad you enjoy the Kandy.

I think it's officially been too long since I wrote them last. The fifth was a long, long time ago!

Hmm . . .

Date: 2007-07-06 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciachick711.livejournal.com
Oh, Andy. With your piles of Lost magazines and going through the soda list too many times and making bad jokes about tampons and condoms. But mostly, Little Snapple!!!

Date: 2007-07-11 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Oh, Andy! Really, I don't think Kelly's gonna be able to resist him much longer. :D

Thank you for readingggg!

Date: 2007-07-06 04:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_missmargaret_/
Oh Andy!! He want soooooo badly to be her boyfriend at the end there!!
And Little Snapple!!!!
I really love how the narrative takes on Kelly's voice.
Such a great job on this one!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-07-11 03:05 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2007-07-06 05:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cryssa.livejournal.com
In License To Wed, there are like four Office castmembers. I think you would be proud to know that I now really, really want to watch it. I already love Kelly, so I'm a fan before I watch.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Oh my goodness, woman, get DVDs! Next time you are remotely near a Blockbuster or anything, snatch up season two! I'd recommend starting with it instead of season one, because season one's sort of bleak and extra-awkward and they hadn't quite found their footing yet. Season two is where the show becomes itself, and you can start with it and not be lost at all.

And oh my God, KELLY. She's like Candie and Kimmie, times twelve, plus two. She is my hero. You need some Kelly Kapoor in your life, stat.

Date: 2007-07-06 08:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mayonegg.livejournal.com
How much do I want this ship to become canon? SOOOOOO MUCH.

I, too, have never seen Star Wars, but, for once, I don't really care about the spoilers. This fic is TOO good! I love how cute and pathetic Andy is and GIRLPOWER ZOMG! KELLY! Most of all I love Kelly's descriptions of her feeling and of Andy.

Even though he can be such a loser, she can never really stay annoyed at him. It’s weird.

Usually, this would be like the best thing ever – look who’s stalkerish now, thank you very much – but instead, she’s just kind of pissed that he ruined her night.


Pride & Prejudice sequel FTW!!

Date: 2007-07-11 03:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Aww, yay, thank you so much! :)

p.s. Watch Star Wars.

Date: 2007-07-06 11:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lisahoo.livejournal.com
Kandy! So amaaaaazing! S4 will be like this scavenger hunt, and we'll be searching for little Kandy clues. It's just too cute not to happen.

it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that that’s not going anywhere. Aww, I hope not. Andy needs some lovin' from someone who isn't a part time frozen yogurt chef.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE A LITTLE SNAPPLE ICON. YOU ARE MY HERO!!!

And, erm, anyway.

Thank you for reading! :D

(Seriously! LITTLE. SNAPPLE. ICON. I am all aflutter with squee.)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] lisahoo.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-07-11 03:16 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2007-07-06 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-ology.livejournal.com
Aww! Kelly/Andy is so cute! I love how Andy is so obnoxious, yet pathetic. For some reason, this makes him endearing to me. I also have a friend named Kandy, so maybe I'm biased. Good work, I love it!

Date: 2007-07-11 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! :) I'm glad you liked it!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-07-11 03:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Aww, yay, thank you so much! And, dude, if Kandy has any semblance of a chance next year, I will weep with joy.

Date: 2007-07-06 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obsession-inc.livejournal.com
“Andy, you’re being a spaz,” she informs him when he starts with the soda list a third time.

AHAHAHAHAHA, so Kelly, and you just know that she says it in this very matter-of-fact voice that isn't mean, actually kind of sweet, but just STATING THE FACT that he's being a spaz.

THEIR LOVE IS SO SPASTIC!!!

“They’re totally like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in space,” she concludes with a happy sigh ten minutes into the second movie.

NIIIICE.

Also, I now believe that having tampons in the bathroom must be used in every fic, ever. LET US START A TREND.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
THEIR LOVE IS SO SPASTIC!!!

Official Kandy slogan? VERY PROBABLY.

Thank you ever so. :D Your comments are always so delightful!

Date: 2007-07-06 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elsbeth-lynn.livejournal.com
You are turning this into the Summer of Kandy for me! Wheeee!!! I am lovin' their nerdy, silly affection for one another.

And the TAMPONS. Gah! Andy, you magnificant spaz, you!!

Date: 2007-07-11 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Long live the Summer of Kandy! Or maybe just . . . through the summer? Yeah, we'll see how that works out. ;-)

Thank you so much!

Date: 2007-07-06 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merfdawg.livejournal.com
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS.

I can visualize Andy's bachelor pad in my head now and I thank you for that. Everything was pitch perfect, your Andy voice is totally believable and what a perfect Kelly move to try to make Ryan jealous.

He finds their spot in the movie, and after a few minutes, she lets her head droop onto his shoulder. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything, she decides. Leia fully kissed Luke on the mouth in Empire Strikes Back, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that that’s not going anywhere.

That is so perfect.

Again, I must say that YOU WIN AT KANDY. *bows to your greatness*

Date: 2007-07-11 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Yaaay, thank you so much. :)

Date: 2007-07-06 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puckhiggins.livejournal.com
You've managed to bring such happiness in the form of a fan fiction to me yet again. Andy/Kelly is so cute! Especially when you throw Star Wars in with them! GAH, I LOVE IT!!!

“If you, uh, ever want to tell anyone else that I’m your boyfriend, to get back at Ryan, just . . . know that I am totally cool with that, okay?”

He's so adorable! XD

Date: 2007-07-11 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
:D :D Thank you so!

Date: 2007-07-06 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littledivinity.livejournal.com
I love your (our?) brain(s?) for thinking up this ship! Because truly...it is the greatest thought of all thoughts. THey're just so completely perfect together. And you write them so believably. And I will never get over him NOT calling her Little Snapple on the show. Yeah. Never.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Dude, I think our brains deserve to be worshiped (even more than usual!) for coming up with this ship, because it just might have to be the highlight of my life.

OH, KANDY.

Thank youuuuu for reading, sweetie!

p.s. I kind of desperately and irrationally hope that somehow -- somehow -- Andy will be able to refer to Kelly as Little Snapple on the show. Just once. I need it in my life.

Date: 2007-07-07 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] superplin.livejournal.com
I can't believe how much I've come to love Kelly/Andy, and you do a fantastic job with them. From "Little Snapple" to the magazines to that really horrible and so very Andy babble about condoms and tampons... just perfection. Not to mention Kelly cutting off Ryan and the whole pretend-boyfriend thing which is sweet and a little heartbreaking and, um, I'll stop rambling now.

This was just great, was the point.

Date: 2007-07-11 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Aww, thank you so much. :D

Date: 2007-07-07 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcmuffins-js.livejournal.com
AW!!!!!! So cute :) Great details. And GO KELLY! You WASH that man right outta your hair!

Date: 2007-07-11 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
GO KELLY! You WASH that man right outta your hair!

WORD.

Thank you so much for reading! :)

LITTLE SNAPPLE

Date: 2007-07-07 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puppetoflove.livejournal.com
If the fact that I have Since U Been Gone as my ringtone makes me Kelly Kapor, I'm okay with that.

Re: LITTLE SNAPPLE

Date: 2007-07-11 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
As well you should be! I kinda feel like we should all aspire to be Kelly Kapoor.

Thank you for reading! :)

Date: 2007-07-07 04:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sundancekid.livejournal.com
You really get Andy and Kelly, and what sorts of things they like about each other -- Kelly's patience with Andy's bumbling, the fact that Kelly will actually talk to him, their comfort.

Also, when Kelly said Andy needs to watch P&P, I totally agreed, up to the part where she said Keira Knightley. :p

Date: 2007-07-11 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you so much. :)

Also, when Kelly said Andy needs to watch P&P, I totally agreed, up to the part where she said Keira Knightley. :p

Hee! I felt like Kelly would probably be more likely to sit through the Keira version than the six hour miniseries. And . . . I am not unlike her in that way. I WILL WATCH THE MINISERIES SOMEDAY, I SWEAR. Eventually. Maybe.
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