dollsome: (HIMYM ● m&l › adorbs)
[personal profile] dollsome
Title: Undazzled
Prompt: Marshall/Lily, names (courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] sunshine_queen!)
Word Count: 354
Summary: Marshall makes a horrific discovery.



Marshall takes it pretty hard.

“It was perfect.”

“I know.”

“It was spectacular.”

“I know, baby.”

“It was the be-all, end-all, ultimate greatest name any kid could ever hope to have.”

“I know, Marshall.”

“It was a work of art, Lily! A work of name-shaped art.”

“I know.”

“Vanessa! Normal! Classic! Elegant!”

“I know.”

“Nessie! Mythical. Tremendous. Honoring that great, dignified dweller of the Scottish deep. Making her daddy proud.”

“I know, Marshall. I know.”

“And now …”

“Oh boy.”

Vampires. But not even real vampires! Lame ass sparkly vampires, all, ‘I’m Cedric Diggory! Don’t get too close – I might sparkle on you!’ Vampires don’t sparkle, what is that, it’s not like we’ve ever caught Karl sparkling! And it’s not even short for Vanessa! It’s short for Renesmee. What is that, Lily? What is that?? TELL ME WHAT IT IS, BECAUSE I NEED TO UNDERSTAND.”

“Marshall, I can’t explain it! I’m not sure anyone can.”

“Actually, it was a blend of their mothers’ names: Renee and Esme. A little corny, maybe, but if you stop to think about it, the sentiment is quite beau—”

“Ted, maybe that’s something you should keep to yourself.”

“… Got it. And, pfft, I didn’t actually read those. In one weekend. Or at all. Hey, let’s focus on Marshall’s pain!”

“I just … I can’t believe we have to give up the dream, Lily. It was the dream.”

“I know, Marshall. I know. But it’s gonna be okay. We’ll get past this, okay, baby? We’ll make it through. Somehow.”

Lily strokes his arm reassuringly, and secretly contemplates sending a thank you note to Crazy Ass Sparkling Vampire Lady. ‘Cause she loves Marshall more than life itself, and everything. She supports him in all his pursuits and passions. Especially the passions. Especially when they’re dirty. But so help her God, the day she agrees to name their kid Nessie is the day she gets the word ‘moist’ tattooed across her forehead and starts buying her clothes at K-Mart.

“It’s okay, baby,” she murmurs soothingly, and guides Marshall’s head to rest on her shoulder. “You just let it allllll out.”
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