dollsome

Title: My Wonderwall
Pairing: JAM, but of course!
Spoilers: All the way to "The Job" (sidenote? squeeeeee!!!)
Word Count: 2,000
Summary: Five reasons JAM is meant to be! :)
Author's Note: . . . yeah. I don't . . . know where this came from, exactly. But that doesn't matter. What matters, y'all, is the power of JAM.

1. Roy’s a jerk and he doesn’t get Pam at all. Not like Jim.

One boring Monday, Pam spent the morning drawing a picture of the water cooler. It was probably stupid, but she couldn’t help it. As soon as she had a pencil in her hand, it was like a spiritual experience. (Except when she was taking notes in meetings with Michael. Then it was just weird and boring.) She stopped being lousy little Pam Beesly and turned into something beautiful.

Feeling brave, she headed over to Jim’s desk as soon as she was done with it and set it down.

“Wow, Pam,” Jim said softly, looking down at it. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s just the water cooler,” she protested, blushing.

“No,” Jim disagreed, meeting her eyes. “It’s like you. It’s jam-packed with all the stuff that makes you awesome. Like, the way you made it half-full? Wow. It’s perfect, Beesly.”

“Thanks Jim,” she said, and couldn’t stop smiling as she walked back to her desk. Jim was so cool and understanding. She felt sometimes like he knew her better than anybody else in the world.

Later, after she said goodbye to Jim in the parking lot and tried to ignore how fast it made her heart beat to know he was watching her all the way to the warehouse (he was such a good friend), she showed the picture to Roy.

“What do you think?” she asked anxiously.

Roy frowned. “Why did you draw a water cooler?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Pam said, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I guess I just felt like drawing the water cooler, because I see it every day.”

“Couldn’t you at least draw something cool, like some jet skis?” Roy asked, scowling at her.

“I just thought maybe you’d be happy for me,” Pam said, feeling a lump form in her throat.

“Whatever,” he said, disgusted. “Let’s get out of here, Pam.”

Roy didn’t even try to hold her hand on the drive home. She looked out the window and tried not to think of all those nice things Jim said, like about the water cooler being half full. She hadn’t had the heart to tell him that maybe it was half empty. Still, somehow, she knew he would understand.

Shut up! she told her brain furiously. Jim and I are just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be.

2. Their senses of humor match perfectly! They’re a dream team. (Halpert-Beesly 2008!!!)

“Hey Pam,” Jim said one morning, grinning and shoving jellybeans into his mouth. “If you help me convince Dwight he’s the king of Africa, I’ll buy you a candybar.”

“You’re on, Halpert,” Pam replied, giggling.

Fifteen minutes later, she wandered over to Dwight’s desk.

“So Dwight,” she said casually. “I heard you’re the king of Africa.”

“False,” Dwight replied sternly. “That is not true.”

“Sure it is, Dwight,” Jim said seriously. “I read it in the paper this morning.”

“It was not in the paper and I know it,” Dwight sneered. “Damn you Jim Halpert. Damn you and your little receptionist too.”

“Hey, man,” Jim said, only Pam could tell he was really serious this time. His eyes flashed with quiet anger. “Not cool. Knock it off.”

“Jim, it’s okay,” Pam said quietly, putting her hand on his arm. He looked over at her and his anger seemed to melt.

“Okay,” he whispered.

Then Pam got the idea that they should send him an email, so Jim came with her back to her desk and they wrote an email from Africa to Dwight, telling him that he was their new king. Dwight totally fell for it. He started telling people to call him Your Majesty, and Michael got really mad. He and Dwight were about to get into a fist fight in the middle of the office when Jim came over to her desk, eyes sparkling, and led her into the break room.

“That was so much more fun than answering phones,” she said with a laugh. She could hear Michael screaming in the main office.

“Oh yeah,” Jim answered with a smile. “Total jamboree.”

“Jim,” she reminded him. “You owe me something.”

“I know,” he answered. “What, did you think I would forget?”

“Maybe,” she replied teasingly.

“I wouldn’t,” he said, and suddenly his smile turned sad. “I would never let you down, Pam.”

Pam broke off half her candybar and gave it to him. Her fingers brushed against his when she did. Tiny little sparks shot up her arm and all the way down her spine.

3. They confess their love for each other without actually ever confessing their love for each other. It’s allllllll in the subtext.

“Hey man,” Mark said when Jim got home from work. “Do you want to go play ball?”

“Sorry, I can’t,” Jim answered. “I promised Pam I would burn her a CD.”

Mark frowned. “When are you going to tell her you love her, man?”

“I can’t,” Jim reminded his best friend impatiently. “She’s engaged.”

“That doesn’t mean you guys aren’t soulmates, dude,” Mark answered firmly. “Promise me you’ll at least think about it.”

“Well,” Jim sighed. “Maybe.”

“Cool,” Mark said. They bumped fists, and then he went off to play basketball.

Jim sat in front of his computer, scrolling through iTunes. Pam had just asked for The Fray’s newest album, but now that he could actually hear the CD wheezing in his disk drive, he suddenly felt brave. He made a new playlist called ‘pam 2’ and started looking through all his music. It seemed like most of the songs there reminded him of her. Part of him wanted to burn her all of them, so that maybe she’d listen to it and suddenly figure out how he felt. But maybe she wouldn’t even get it. Maybe she’d never know.

The next morning, he waited until she got up to go to the bathroom and then set the CD on her desk. It was labeled “Songs To Jam To, To Pam, Love Jim.” He hoped she wouldn’t read too much into the fact that it said “Love Jim”. Or maybe he didn’t hope that. With Pam, he could never tell. She made his own mind and heart feel like strangers.

It turned out work was really busy that day. He spent all day selling paper on the phone, and could only glance at Pam a few times. She smiled at him, but he didn’t know if that was really the good sign he hoped it was.

“Wow Jim,” Pam said at the end of the day as he reached for his coat. “Thanks for the CD.”

His heart quickened. “Did you, uh, listen to it?”

“No,” she replied with a smile. “But I will when I get home.”

“Oh,” Jim said, feeling relieved. “Okay.”

Coward! his heart screamed.

“Why don’t you ever burn me a CD, Jim?” Michael demanded, walking by.

Jim smirked and raised his eyebrow, looking at the camera. Pam laughed happily. She would never tell anybody, but she thought it was really cute when he did that.

Pam went home and listened to the CD on her walkman, so it wouldn’t bug Roy. He didn’t like any other noise in the house while he was watching sports. Also, she didn’t really like the idea of him knowing she had a CD from Jim that said “love Jim”. She wasn’t sure why. It was just friend love. But still.

The first song was Wonderwall by Oasis.

“I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now,” poured from her headphones into her ears.

Pam felt her heart rush, even though Jim wasn’t even here and it was just a silly song lyric. Something about Jim giving her a CD with words like these seemed special, somehow. Like he was trying to tell her something.

But what would he have to tell you, Pam Beesly? she lectured herself furiously. He’s just your friend. That’s all.

4. Karen is a total bitch.

Karen wouldn’t let Jim hold hands with her while he drove. She said that a responsible driver kept two hands on the wheel, and if he got into a car accident there would be no way they could afford to leave Scranton and jet off to Hawaii someday.

“I feel like I’m never going to get out of this traffic jam,” he said, sighing impatiently.

“Yeah,” Karen replied. “Jams suck.”

“I’m really happy we’re together,” Jim told her, turning to look at her.

“Me too,” she said, smiling. “But hey. Keep your eyes on the road, okay? Even if we aren’t driving right now. Safety first.”

“Right,” Jim said, feeling his heart sink. “Sorry.”

“I think Pam wants to be friends with me,” Karen said, sounding annoyed. “She keeps talking to me and stuff. But I don’t really hang out with people like her, you know?”

“Yeah,” Jim said sadly, trying to seem like it didn’t feel like she had just punched him in the stomach.

“People were so much cooler in Stamford, don’t you think?” she continued.

“Yeah,” Jim lied.

All of a sudden, a familiar song started playing on the radio. His heart skipped a beat. He tried not to think of the girl he wished was in this car with him right now. You’re with Karen now, buddy, he told himself. Snap out of it.

“I don’t get this song,” Karen said, wrinkling her nose. “What’s a wonderwall?”

Jim swallowed the lump in his throat. “It doesn’t matter,” he told her, and tried to smile.

5. They would have the most perfect happily ever after ever.

“Jim, why did you ask me here?” Pam asked. She looked beautiful in the candlelight, but her eyes were sad with worry all of a sudden. “This isn’t just a friendship dinner, is it?”

Jim swallowed. “No.”

“So you and Karen . . .” Pam said hopefully, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Me and Karen are over, Pam,” Jim answered heavily. “We were over before we began.” He tried to blink back his emotion. “You’re the only one for me. You’ve always been the only one.”

“Oh Jim,” Pam sighed. A tear rolled down her beautiful cheek. He reached over and wiped it away. Her skin was soft and perfect.

She took his hand in hers.

“Is this for real?” she asked softly. “Finally, after all this time, we’re going to be more than just friends?”

“If that’s what you want,” Jim answered. He fought to hold back adding that it was what he wanted more than anything in the world.

“You know what I want,” Pam replied, her voice low. She leaned over the table and kissed him hard on the lips. It was the most perfect kiss either of them had ever known, and suddenly they realized what a big mistake everything with Roy and Karen had been.

“Are you hungry?” Jim asked huskily when they pulled apart. Their foreheads were still leaning together. “All of a sudden, I’m not hungry.”

“Not for food,” Pam replied slyly.

They drove back to Jim’s apartment going ten miles over the speed limit the whole time. Their fingers were entwined.

And for the first time in Pam’s life, it wasn’t just sex, like it had always been with Roy. This was what it was like to make love, she realized as Jim carefully unbuttoned her cardigan.

The next morning, Pam woke up for the first time in Jim’s bed. His arm was wrapped around her, and he grinned at her like she was the most beautiful creature on earth. He didn’t even make her brush her teeth before they could kiss good morning, like she’d used to have to do with Roy.

She put on one of his shirts and they went downstairs to make breakfast. He made bacon, and she got out some bread and strawberry jam.

“I love you, Jim Halpert,” she said a few minutes later through a mouthful of toast.

“I love you, Pam Beesly,” Jim replied happily. Then, with a mischievous look in his eyes, he added, “Even if you talk while you’re chewing.”

“I hate you,” she giggled.

“I hate you more,” he answered, reaching for the jar of Smucker’s.

The jam fight was an accident, and a little gross, but at least it gave them the excuse to take a shower together afterwards.