love & marriage? (Jim/Dwight)
Mar. 20th, 2007 05:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Title: love & marriage?
Pairing: Dwight/Jim. Kinda.
Spoilers: general season 3
Word Count: 500
Rating: G
Summary: Jim pops the question. To Dwight.
Author's Note: Heh, this is so just me trying to make the time 'till American Idol comes on go by faster. So, um, don't mind the madness. This is inspired by discussions with
yourmomroxxs. :)
Dwight is lecturing Jim on proper sales call etiquette. It’s the only option, after hearing him refer to a client as, direct quote, ‘man.’
Disgusting.
“And if they don’t feel respected, guess what? No sale. And if there’s no sale, guess what? Dunder Mifflin comes crumbling to its knees, and then – guess what? Oh! It’s somebody’s fault. And whose fault would it be?”
“Dwight,” Jim interjects.
“No, not Dwight,” Dwight corrects, panther-fast. Which is almost lightning-fast. “Jim. Jim Halpert.”
“No, Dwight—”
“Jim Halpert’s fault.” Definitely lightning-fast this time.
“Dwight,” Jim cuts in impatiently.
“What?” Dwight demands.
“Will you,” Jim asks solemnly, “marry me?”
Dwight stares at him for exactly two point five fifths of a second before answering. “No.”
Jim’s eyebrows furrow. “You sure?”
Dwight narrows his eyes. “Is this some kind of joke?”
“No, I really –” Jim lets out a sigh of frustration and runs one tormented hand through his hair. “I dunno, Dwight. I always just thought we had something special.”
Erroneous. “I have a girlfriend.”
Jim shrugs. “You could dump her for me.”
“Impossible.” Dwight shudders to imagine Angela’s reaction to the idea of him leaving her for another male.
“We could move to Massachusetts,” Jim proceeds casually. “Start watching Bravo.”
“Absolutely not,” Dwight says. “It might conflict with the new episodes of Battlestar Galactica.”
“You see, I don’t know if I like Battlestar Galactica,” Jim says, and winces slightly. “It might be too scary for me.”
“Oh, Jim,” Dwight says, and shakes his head at his pitiful cowardice. “They’re only cylons.”
“I know,” Jim says. “I know that. But I just – I kinda get scared. So you’d probably have to hold my hand while we watched it. And – if I get too freaked out, I might need to cuddle.”
Angela never cuddles during Battlestar Galactica. Instead, she rolls her eyes and mumbles disapprovingly under her breath, and sometimes even makes him switch to another channel halfway through.
Dwight studies Jim for a moment, appraising, before reaching the inevitable truth.
“I already told you, Jim,” he concludes gravely. “I cannot marry you.”
“Okay,” Jim says after a moment. He looks pained. Dwight does not feel remorse for causing him emotional torment, however. “I guess I was just hoping that maybe you’d . . . ya know, change your mind.”
No remorse. None.
“What about Karen?” Dwight points out.
A confused frown wrinkles his forehead. “Who?”
“Karen,” Dwight repeats, gnashing his teeth together as he stresses the syllables. “Your girlfriend.”
Jim stares blankly at him for a moment before slamming one hand against his forehead.
“Oh, right!” he exclaims. “I knew I was forgetting something. Hey, thanks for reminding me.”
“You’re welcome,” Dwight says slowly.
“You know, I’d better go talk to her,” Jim continues, casting a glance in Karen’s direction. “Since she’s my girlfriend, and all.”
Crisis averted, Dwight decides as he watches Jim stride over to Karen’s desk.
Still, he might have to catch Jim off-guard with the Gaydar. Just in case.
Pairing: Dwight/Jim. Kinda.
Spoilers: general season 3
Word Count: 500
Rating: G
Summary: Jim pops the question. To Dwight.
Author's Note: Heh, this is so just me trying to make the time 'till American Idol comes on go by faster. So, um, don't mind the madness. This is inspired by discussions with
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Dwight is lecturing Jim on proper sales call etiquette. It’s the only option, after hearing him refer to a client as, direct quote, ‘man.’
Disgusting.
“And if they don’t feel respected, guess what? No sale. And if there’s no sale, guess what? Dunder Mifflin comes crumbling to its knees, and then – guess what? Oh! It’s somebody’s fault. And whose fault would it be?”
“Dwight,” Jim interjects.
“No, not Dwight,” Dwight corrects, panther-fast. Which is almost lightning-fast. “Jim. Jim Halpert.”
“No, Dwight—”
“Jim Halpert’s fault.” Definitely lightning-fast this time.
“Dwight,” Jim cuts in impatiently.
“What?” Dwight demands.
“Will you,” Jim asks solemnly, “marry me?”
Dwight stares at him for exactly two point five fifths of a second before answering. “No.”
Jim’s eyebrows furrow. “You sure?”
Dwight narrows his eyes. “Is this some kind of joke?”
“No, I really –” Jim lets out a sigh of frustration and runs one tormented hand through his hair. “I dunno, Dwight. I always just thought we had something special.”
Erroneous. “I have a girlfriend.”
Jim shrugs. “You could dump her for me.”
“Impossible.” Dwight shudders to imagine Angela’s reaction to the idea of him leaving her for another male.
“We could move to Massachusetts,” Jim proceeds casually. “Start watching Bravo.”
“Absolutely not,” Dwight says. “It might conflict with the new episodes of Battlestar Galactica.”
“You see, I don’t know if I like Battlestar Galactica,” Jim says, and winces slightly. “It might be too scary for me.”
“Oh, Jim,” Dwight says, and shakes his head at his pitiful cowardice. “They’re only cylons.”
“I know,” Jim says. “I know that. But I just – I kinda get scared. So you’d probably have to hold my hand while we watched it. And – if I get too freaked out, I might need to cuddle.”
Angela never cuddles during Battlestar Galactica. Instead, she rolls her eyes and mumbles disapprovingly under her breath, and sometimes even makes him switch to another channel halfway through.
Dwight studies Jim for a moment, appraising, before reaching the inevitable truth.
“I already told you, Jim,” he concludes gravely. “I cannot marry you.”
“Okay,” Jim says after a moment. He looks pained. Dwight does not feel remorse for causing him emotional torment, however. “I guess I was just hoping that maybe you’d . . . ya know, change your mind.”
No remorse. None.
“What about Karen?” Dwight points out.
A confused frown wrinkles his forehead. “Who?”
“Karen,” Dwight repeats, gnashing his teeth together as he stresses the syllables. “Your girlfriend.”
Jim stares blankly at him for a moment before slamming one hand against his forehead.
“Oh, right!” he exclaims. “I knew I was forgetting something. Hey, thanks for reminding me.”
“You’re welcome,” Dwight says slowly.
“You know, I’d better go talk to her,” Jim continues, casting a glance in Karen’s direction. “Since she’s my girlfriend, and all.”
Crisis averted, Dwight decides as he watches Jim stride over to Karen’s desk.
Still, he might have to catch Jim off-guard with the Gaydar. Just in case.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:07 pm (UTC)But the thing is, he really would. And it's kind of beautiful.
Thank you for readinggg! :)
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Date: 2007-03-21 01:37 am (UTC)That was SO delightful. Am in a much better mood after that! :D
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 01:40 am (UTC)*points towards
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:09 pm (UTC)And ooh, I'm gonna have to wander on over to that comm, for sure!
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Date: 2007-03-21 01:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:02 am (UTC)Heeeee! This is so excellent and Jim and Dwight-perfect. Panther-almost-light-fast Dwight. ♥ I love that he actually does weigh his Battlestar Galactica options.
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:21 am (UTC)Great fic! Everyone so fantastically in character. My favorite part? Erroneous.
XD
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:36 am (UTC)Dwight and Jim: a love that knows no bounds :D
This is really good.
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 04:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:16 pm (UTC)And, haha, I've never actually seen an episode of Battlestar Gallactica in my life, but I have done some Wikipedia research solely for Dwight-writing purposes. :D
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Date: 2007-03-21 06:22 am (UTC)= perfect Jim voice. You never cease to amazing me with your Office fic!
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:17 pm (UTC)(And, dude, Damien Rice concert tickets?! That is so awesome I pretty much can't comprehend it. So cool!!)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 08:46 am (UTC)hfjksfkhfkdj
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 10:25 am (UTC)“Oh, Jim,” Dwight says, and shakes his head at his pitiful cowardice. “They’re only cylons.”
Is it weird that you have the perfect Dwight voice? Because I can totally hear him saying this. It makes me die a little, in a good way.
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 11:28 am (UTC)Dwight studies Jim for a moment, appraising, before reaching the inevitable truth.
And normally we'd be laughing right along with Jim but there's that Dwight perspective that tilts it just a little bit. Oh man (heh) I would die if they did something like this on the show.
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 12:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 01:13 pm (UTC)This is so freaking AWESOME. I love this so much I'm going to read it a few hundred more times. You are basically everything that is awesome. And then some.
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:53 pm (UTC)Oh, the Jim/Dwight love. It makes my world go 'round.
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:32 pm (UTC)And seriously. Jim and Dwight's relationship is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
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Date: 2007-03-21 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:34 pm (UTC)Hahaha! Precisely. :D Oh, Dwight, I love your brain!
And 'erroneous' might just be my ultimate Dwight word.
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback! :)
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Date: 2007-03-21 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:36 pm (UTC)Um, hi? Awesome much?
Date: 2007-03-21 03:46 pm (UTC)Re: Um, hi? Awesome much?
Date: 2007-03-22 09:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 08:15 pm (UTC)Dwight shudders to imagine Angela’s reaction to the idea of him leaving her for another male.
GOD I want to see that.
I'm going to friend you so stuff like this shows up on my flist; hope that's cool. :)
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:38 pm (UTC)And, sure, friending is totally okay!
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Date: 2007-03-21 09:13 pm (UTC)HAHAHAHAHA
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Date: 2007-03-22 09:38 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading! :)