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Feb. 6th, 2007 03:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dollsomeFive things! Yessss! I am PRODUCTIVE.
For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jesshelga!
Five reasons that Liz could never be Jack’s date, that no one could ever believe it (because she’s so grotesque)--
-
He catches her in the middle of a heated discussion with the writers concerning what the smoke monster on Lost might be. She swears adamantly that it’s the physical manifestation of the past wrongdoings of the castaways, coming back to plague them.
As a rule, the women Jack dates (openly – Condi and Maureen and Martha don’t count) don’t use words with five syllables. Nor do they watch Lost for reasons other than to ogle the shirtless men.
So there’s that.
“So, what do you think?” she asks as she tromps gracelessly into the elevator after him. “That whole physical manifestation thing sounds pretty good, huh?”
“Lemon, do you honestly believe that I devote my time to theorizing over the mediocre plot twists of a cult television show that will only maintain another year of popularity at best?”
She just stares at him.
“A scientific experiment gone horribly awry,” he says brusquely, and walks out of the elevator.
--
She makes no apologies about her eating habits. Namely that she actually possesses some.
--
Rather than recording mind-numbing pop albums whose popularity is fueled by the risqué music videos that accompany them, she warbles out Broadway showtunes along with her iPod when she thinks she’s alone. On the plus side, he supposes you haven’t experienced true horror until you’ve witnessed her rendition of Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera. It’s the sort of thing that builds character, should you escape unscathed, and when it comes to building character, Jack Donaghy is unparalleled.
--
Being seen with her in public again is out of the question.
Although, to be truthful, she’s reasonably attractive beneath the countless layers of frumpishness and wasted potential. He fleetingly contemplates telling her that red is a good color on her before coming to the realization that it’s doubtful she’ll do anything about it. If she’s determined to subject herself to a lifetime of navy blue, so be it. It doesn’t affect him; it’s not like he’s looking.
Most of the time.
--
She dates beeper salesmen and third cousins and, on occasion, other women (accidentally). It’s obvious that she has no idea she deserves better, and should she ever actually chance to find a man who’s worthy of her, odds are she’ll wind up running as fast as she can in the opposite direction.
Figuratively. He doubts even the prospect of a functional relationship could motivate her to exercise.
For
jesshelga!Five reasons that Liz could never be Jack’s date, that no one could ever believe it (because she’s so grotesque)--
-
He catches her in the middle of a heated discussion with the writers concerning what the smoke monster on Lost might be. She swears adamantly that it’s the physical manifestation of the past wrongdoings of the castaways, coming back to plague them.
As a rule, the women Jack dates (openly – Condi and Maureen and Martha don’t count) don’t use words with five syllables. Nor do they watch Lost for reasons other than to ogle the shirtless men.
So there’s that.
“So, what do you think?” she asks as she tromps gracelessly into the elevator after him. “That whole physical manifestation thing sounds pretty good, huh?”
“Lemon, do you honestly believe that I devote my time to theorizing over the mediocre plot twists of a cult television show that will only maintain another year of popularity at best?”
She just stares at him.
“A scientific experiment gone horribly awry,” he says brusquely, and walks out of the elevator.
--
She makes no apologies about her eating habits. Namely that she actually possesses some.
--
Rather than recording mind-numbing pop albums whose popularity is fueled by the risqué music videos that accompany them, she warbles out Broadway showtunes along with her iPod when she thinks she’s alone. On the plus side, he supposes you haven’t experienced true horror until you’ve witnessed her rendition of Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera. It’s the sort of thing that builds character, should you escape unscathed, and when it comes to building character, Jack Donaghy is unparalleled.
--
Being seen with her in public again is out of the question.
Although, to be truthful, she’s reasonably attractive beneath the countless layers of frumpishness and wasted potential. He fleetingly contemplates telling her that red is a good color on her before coming to the realization that it’s doubtful she’ll do anything about it. If she’s determined to subject herself to a lifetime of navy blue, so be it. It doesn’t affect him; it’s not like he’s looking.
Most of the time.
--
She dates beeper salesmen and third cousins and, on occasion, other women (accidentally). It’s obvious that she has no idea she deserves better, and should she ever actually chance to find a man who’s worthy of her, odds are she’ll wind up running as fast as she can in the opposite direction.
Figuratively. He doubts even the prospect of a functional relationship could motivate her to exercise.
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Date: 2007-02-07 12:51 am (UTC)I'll start with my most coherent thought which is the icons you've made from the past episode STILL are awesome.
THEN:
“So, what do you think?” she asks as she tromps gracelessly into the elevator after him.
HEE! Oh, Jack.
“Lemon, do you honestly believe that I devote my time to theorizing over the mediocre plot twists of a cult television show that will only maintain another year of popularity at best?”
She just stares at him.
“A scientific experiment gone horribly awry,” he says brusquely, and walks out of the elevator.
Sorry for the continuing caps: SO, SO GREAT.
On the plus side, he supposes you haven’t experienced true horror until you’ve witnessed her rendition of Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera.
Liz has POTO on her iPod!!! I am *crying*, I'm laughing so hard.
Although, to be truthful, she’s reasonably attractive beneath the countless layers of frumpishness and wasted potential. He fleetingly contemplates telling her that red is a good color on her before coming to the realization that it’s doubtful she’ll do anything about it. If she’s determined to subject herself to a lifetime of navy blue, so be it. It doesn’t affect him; it’s not like he’s looking.
Most of the time.
Oh, JACK! So awesome and so him. Make out with her already, Donaghy!
She dates beeper salesmen and third cousins and, on occasion, other women (accidentally). It’s obvious that she has no idea she deserves better, and should she ever actually chance to find a man who’s worthy of her, odds are she’ll wind up running as fast as she can in the opposite direction.
Figuratively. He doubts even the prospect of a functional relationship could motivate her to exercise.
HEE!
Seriously, so awesome.
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Date: 2007-02-07 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 01:49 am (UTC)HAHAHAHA. Amazing.
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Date: 2007-02-07 03:26 am (UTC)So I'm glad it turned out okay. :D
And even though the awesomeness of Jack/Liz kind of blows my mind to the point where I'm sort of intimidated to write about them, I might have to try it again sometime!
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Date: 2007-02-07 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 03:28 am (UTC)(Also, YAY GG.)
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Date: 2007-02-07 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 03:45 am (UTC)Oh, and perfect closing line.
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Date: 2007-02-07 04:23 am (UTC)(Sidenote- I saw the Secretary for the first time today, and then read this fic and that just became a blender of strange Jack/Liz ideas lol)
Thanks for sharing! I love seeing stuff pop up on 30 Rock, I was worried other people weren't getting into it.
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Date: 2007-02-07 04:45 am (UTC)Also, I forgot to mention that the way Liz says "grotesque," like she's channeling Vincent Price, cracks me up every time. So the title of your Five Things was doubly delightful!
ETA: Revisiting this was delightful. I forgot, in the midst of all the Kandy and--well, you know, the thing with the people on BBC America--that you wrote Jack/Liz (and for ME, of all people! TEE HEE!)
Glee. Pure and simple.
(Watch Psych)
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Date: 2007-02-07 05:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 06:39 am (UTC)I'm in sort of a bizarre spot where I love the idea of the two of them together, but would (probably) not care to see it actually happen on the show.
I'm kinda there too, in that I just completely love how their relationship dynamic is now, where there's just the occasional moment every few episodes where you kiiiinda feel the shippy vibes, but mostly they're just Jack and Liz. And whenever one of those random sporadic shippy moments comes to pass, I will freak out about it like the insane fangirl that I am, but I don't actually want them to get together (although I am relatively sure that there will come a time in the future where my position on this will change ;-D).
But, yeah. That's what fanfic's for, most definitely!
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Date: 2007-02-07 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 06:43 am (UTC)And, yeah, I don't think I actually want them to get together, but I just love how their relationship functions. They're so weird and awesome and I strongly suspect that there is some attraction on either side buried beneath endless heaps of denial.
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Date: 2007-02-07 06:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 11:58 am (UTC)And I LOVED it! Awesome job! Why don't more people write for this fandom?
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Date: 2007-02-07 01:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 02:01 pm (UTC)I can't even. Oh my. WOW. So totally Jack's voice. And how Liz ascribes to the purgatory theory about Lost and how she totally KNOWS that Jack has a theory, too. And how they are totally not each others' type even while both of them are aware that the people the other person dates are not that person's type, REALLY.
I am feeling sort of incoherent now. Completely awesome. You are fantastic, woman.
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Date: 2007-02-07 11:48 pm (UTC)-Paper Jam
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Date: 2007-02-08 01:22 am (UTC)And, dude, this fandom totally just needs so much more love. It's not even funny.
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Date: 2007-02-08 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-08 01:23 am (UTC)