Lovely, as always. Your post-apocalypse Dominic voice is great, not to mention the way you've captured their personalities with the dialogue. I think in another piece of yours I found your Adelle dialogue to be a bit too--I don't know, pristine maybe? Posh, polished, something like that--for Safe Haven, but here it is spot on and works better, for me, at sounding like Adelle-who's-gone-through-hell, and the conversation is impressive because it reads so fluidly. The details make this piece really great; "Ballard and Echo are laughing downstairs," the twin bed, "because not bugging Topher is actually a thing you do now," to name a few.
I just went back and reread Adelle's little explanation about her dollhouse, the one about the house itself interesting her, and, wow, I can hear her voice saying it, and right now I'm thinking the whole piece hinges on it.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-07-08 01:20 am (UTC)I just went back and reread Adelle's little explanation about her dollhouse, the one about the house itself interesting her, and, wow, I can hear her voice saying it, and right now I'm thinking the whole piece hinges on it.
Once again: lovely work :)