Undazzled (Marshall/Lily)

[dollsome]

Title: Undazzled
Prompt: Marshall/Lily, names (courtesy of sunshine_queen!)
Word Count: 354
Summary: Marshall makes a horrific discovery.



Marshall takes it pretty hard.

“It was perfect.”

“I know.”

“It was spectacular.”

“I know, baby.”

“It was the be-all, end-all, ultimate greatest name any kid could ever hope to have.”

“I know, Marshall.”

“It was a work of art, Lily! A work of name-shaped art.”

“I know.”

“Vanessa! Normal! Classic! Elegant!”

“I know.”

“Nessie! Mythical. Tremendous. Honoring that great, dignified dweller of the Scottish deep. Making her daddy proud.”

“I know, Marshall. I know.”

“And now …”

“Oh boy.”

“Vampires. But not even real vampires! Lame ass sparkly vampires, all, ‘I’m Cedric Diggory! Don’t get too close – I might sparkle on you!’ Vampires don’t sparkle, what is that, it’s not like we’ve ever caught Karl sparkling! And it’s not even short for Vanessa! It’s short for Renesmee. What is that, Lily? What is that?? TELL ME WHAT IT IS, BECAUSE I NEED TO UNDERSTAND.”

“Marshall, I can’t explain it! I’m not sure anyone can.”

“Actually, it was a blend of their mothers’ names: Renee and Esme. A little corny, maybe, but if you stop to think about it, the sentiment is quite beau—”

“Ted, maybe that’s something you should keep to yourself.”

“… Got it. And, pfft, I didn’t actually read those. In one weekend. Or at all. Hey, let’s focus on Marshall’s pain!”

“I just … I can’t believe we have to give up the dream, Lily. It was the dream.”

“I know, Marshall. I know. But it’s gonna be okay. We’ll get past this, okay, baby? We’ll make it through. Somehow.”

Lily strokes his arm reassuringly, and secretly contemplates sending a thank you note to Crazy Ass Sparkling Vampire Lady. ‘Cause she loves Marshall more than life itself, and everything. She supports him in all his pursuits and passions. Especially the passions. Especially when they’re dirty. But so help her God, the day she agrees to name their kid Nessie is the day she gets the word ‘moist’ tattooed across her forehead and starts buying her clothes at K-Mart.

“It’s okay, baby,” she murmurs soothingly, and guides Marshall’s head to rest on her shoulder. “You just let it allllll out.”

Comments

[puckhiggins.livejournal.com]

YES! That was PERFECT!

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

:D :D Thank you!

[glass-rain.livejournal.com]

I love the fact that this exists. :D

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you. :D

Seriously, that was like my first thought after 'wtf??' when the Nessie reveal hit the internet. I was like, 'GOD, MARSHALL IS GOING TO BE SO UPSET.'

I don't know what this says about me. But it was nice to let it out in fanfic form at last.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

Perfect! Totally perfect.

Go me and m' bad prompts.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Gracias, senorita! :D

I was so, like, dazzled (yeah, I went there!) by myself that I actually wrote a prompt from you! SEE, I CAN DO IT SOMETIMES.

[noteasilywon.livejournal.com]

HEE. I love how you managed to incorporate Twilight-hate into the HIMYM-verse. Marshall would totally find sparklepires offensive. And the last bit, about the "moist" tattoo and the K-mart clothes? So perfect.

...I need a Marshall/Lily icon.

(Oh, and on a vaguely-related note, I am kind of ludicrously excited for Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof. That kid will be inheriting some fine genes indeed!)

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

:D Thank youuu!

And I need one too! I don't have one for some reason, which is unacceptable.

(I KNOW RIGHT. Oh, yay!)

[rainbowstevie.livejournal.com]

"What is that, Lily? What is that?? TELL ME WHAT IT IS, BECAUSE I NEED TO UNDERSTAND.”
BWAH! Marshall's distress literally has me draped over the desk from laughing too hard. I can just hear it echoing through my head... (also! "I might sparkle on you!" I am going to make it a point to work that threat into my daily conversation somehow.)

And I love Ted's interjection just sort of dwindling off into nothing there.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Thank youuuuu! At first I was like, 'What, I can't write MARSHALL,' but I love when he goes off on his CRAZY RANTS, and it was really fun to try to do one. Oh, Mr. Erikson. <3

[tray-lord.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is absolutely fantastic! *is very happy*

Love this. My favorite line: "It was a work of art, Lily! A work of name-shaped art." I can totally hear Marshall saying that. *hearts*

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

:D Thank youuuuu!

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD THE PERFECTION. Soooooo great. And Ted's insert is just - hjfshlfksjhfkjhdsfkl <3!!!

oh, I love them. :D

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Thank youuu!

And, bwahaha, I was cracking myself up sort of lamely with the Ted part. Because of course, when it's serious Marshall/Lily business, Ted is always doomed to be there. And he is, of course, just cheesy enough to secretly love Twilight, TED, YOU GIRL.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

“… Got it. And, pfft, I didn’t actually read those. In one weekend. Or at all. Hey, let’s focus on Marshall’s pain!”

TED IS A CLOSET TWILIGHT FAN. OH, THE PERFECTION.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

YOU KNOW HE'S JUST THAT LAME. :D

Thanks for readinggg!

[wondygal.livejournal.com]

ADOOORABLE. Really, really great. Poor Marshall.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you muchly!

Poor Marshall, poor everyone. Stephenie Meyer, the horrors you have wrought upon the world ...

[la-tante.livejournal.com]

so awesome! perfection, thy name is dollsome!

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

:D Why, thank you!

[cashewdani.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! This was absolute perfection.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

:D Thank youuuuu!

[musical-junkie.livejournal.com]

YES. YES. YES. 10000000 TIMES YES.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D THANKS.

[deuxcoeurs.livejournal.com]

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY! I can totally hear Marshall's voice in my head, going off in his crazy rant. TED IS A CLOSET TWILIGHT FAN. Oh, Mr. Mosby, you're such a delight!

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

And, oh, YOU KNOW WE COULDN'T PUT IT PAST MR. MOSBY.

[mardia.livejournal.com]

I just have to tell you YOU WIN AT LIFE. I never would have thought a Twilight-HIMYM semi-crossover could work, but this does!

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha, thank you very much! :D

[kinderby.livejournal.com]

Oh my lord, I just discovered today that LJ is no longer banned in China, and this was one of the first things I found, and as if getting LJ back was not happy-making enough, I get to read this wonderful great piece of Lily/Marshall fiction that brings in Twilight-hate, Ted being a dork, Marshall being my adorable Marshmallow, and Barney and Robin having sex elsewhere (I mean, that IS why they're not there, right?), I am a happy, happy girl. This was perfect, and I almost thought I was reading a transcript of the show, because it sounded so much like them. Thank you so much!

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D

Barney and Robin having sex elsewhere (I mean, that IS why they're not there, right?)

NO QUESTION.

[torigates.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha, Ted WOULD read Twilight. This is just great.

[rukia-u.livejournal.com]

GREAT! they are so IC it is canon for me now :)
(Ted reading the books is LOL. Although I missed Barney saying something about how he doesn't need to become a vampire to sparkle, he can do it with only his awesomeness and a suit)

[lalumena.livejournal.com]

For some reason, I decided to have a rifle through your HIMYM, and this is just lovely! Got me grinning. And I love this snappy line: But so help her God, the day she agrees to name their kid Nessie is the day she gets the word ‘moist’ tattooed across her forehead and starts buying her clothes at K-Mart.

♥ I do enjoy your way with words.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you! :D I do not really know where this story came from, but any opportunity for anybody to be woeful about Twilight is okay by me.

Also: icon love forever!!! OTP, man.