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Undazzled (Marshall/Lily)
Title: Undazzled
Prompt: Marshall/Lily, names (courtesy of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sunshine_queen!)
Word Count: 354
Summary: Marshall makes a horrific discovery.
Marshall takes it pretty hard.
“It was perfect.”
“I know.”
“It was spectacular.”
“I know, baby.”
“It was the be-all, end-all, ultimate greatest name any kid could ever hope to have.”
“I know, Marshall.”
“It was a work of art, Lily! A work of name-shaped art.”
“I know.”
“Vanessa! Normal! Classic! Elegant!”
“I know.”
“Nessie! Mythical. Tremendous. Honoring that great, dignified dweller of the Scottish deep. Making her daddy proud.”
“I know, Marshall. I know.”
“And now …”
“Oh boy.”
“Vampires. But not even real vampires! Lame ass sparkly vampires, all, ‘I’m Cedric Diggory! Don’t get too close – I might sparkle on you!’ Vampires don’t sparkle, what is that, it’s not like we’ve ever caught Karl sparkling! And it’s not even short for Vanessa! It’s short for Renesmee. What is that, Lily? What is that?? TELL ME WHAT IT IS, BECAUSE I NEED TO UNDERSTAND.”
“Marshall, I can’t explain it! I’m not sure anyone can.”
“Actually, it was a blend of their mothers’ names: Renee and Esme. A little corny, maybe, but if you stop to think about it, the sentiment is quite beau—”
“Ted, maybe that’s something you should keep to yourself.”
“… Got it. And, pfft, I didn’t actually read those. In one weekend. Or at all. Hey, let’s focus on Marshall’s pain!”
“I just … I can’t believe we have to give up the dream, Lily. It was the dream.”
“I know, Marshall. I know. But it’s gonna be okay. We’ll get past this, okay, baby? We’ll make it through. Somehow.”
Lily strokes his arm reassuringly, and secretly contemplates sending a thank you note to Crazy Ass Sparkling Vampire Lady. ‘Cause she loves Marshall more than life itself, and everything. She supports him in all his pursuits and passions. Especially the passions. Especially when they’re dirty. But so help her God, the day she agrees to name their kid Nessie is the day she gets the word ‘moist’ tattooed across her forehead and starts buying her clothes at K-Mart.
“It’s okay, baby,” she murmurs soothingly, and guides Marshall’s head to rest on her shoulder. “You just let it allllll out.”
Prompt: Marshall/Lily, names (courtesy of
sunshine_queen!)Word Count: 354
Summary: Marshall makes a horrific discovery.
Marshall takes it pretty hard.
“It was perfect.”
“I know.”
“It was spectacular.”
“I know, baby.”
“It was the be-all, end-all, ultimate greatest name any kid could ever hope to have.”
“I know, Marshall.”
“It was a work of art, Lily! A work of name-shaped art.”
“I know.”
“Vanessa! Normal! Classic! Elegant!”
“I know.”
“Nessie! Mythical. Tremendous. Honoring that great, dignified dweller of the Scottish deep. Making her daddy proud.”
“I know, Marshall. I know.”
“And now …”
“Oh boy.”
“Vampires. But not even real vampires! Lame ass sparkly vampires, all, ‘I’m Cedric Diggory! Don’t get too close – I might sparkle on you!’ Vampires don’t sparkle, what is that, it’s not like we’ve ever caught Karl sparkling! And it’s not even short for Vanessa! It’s short for Renesmee. What is that, Lily? What is that?? TELL ME WHAT IT IS, BECAUSE I NEED TO UNDERSTAND.”
“Marshall, I can’t explain it! I’m not sure anyone can.”
“Actually, it was a blend of their mothers’ names: Renee and Esme. A little corny, maybe, but if you stop to think about it, the sentiment is quite beau—”
“Ted, maybe that’s something you should keep to yourself.”
“… Got it. And, pfft, I didn’t actually read those. In one weekend. Or at all. Hey, let’s focus on Marshall’s pain!”
“I just … I can’t believe we have to give up the dream, Lily. It was the dream.”
“I know, Marshall. I know. But it’s gonna be okay. We’ll get past this, okay, baby? We’ll make it through. Somehow.”
Lily strokes his arm reassuringly, and secretly contemplates sending a thank you note to Crazy Ass Sparkling Vampire Lady. ‘Cause she loves Marshall more than life itself, and everything. She supports him in all his pursuits and passions. Especially the passions. Especially when they’re dirty. But so help her God, the day she agrees to name their kid Nessie is the day she gets the word ‘moist’ tattooed across her forehead and starts buying her clothes at K-Mart.
“It’s okay, baby,” she murmurs soothingly, and guides Marshall’s head to rest on her shoulder. “You just let it allllll out.”
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Seriously, that was like my first thought after 'wtf??' when the Nessie reveal hit the internet. I was like, 'GOD, MARSHALL IS GOING TO BE SO UPSET.'
I don't know what this says about me. But it was nice to let it out in fanfic form at last.
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Go me and m' bad prompts.
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...I need a Marshall/Lily icon.
(Oh, and on a vaguely-related note, I am kind of ludicrously excited for Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof. That kid will be inheriting some fine genes indeed!)
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BWAH! Marshall's distress literally has me draped over the desk from laughing too hard. I can just hear it echoing through my head... (also! "I might sparkle on you!" I am going to make it a point to work that threat into my daily conversation somehow.)
And I love Ted's interjection just sort of dwindling off into nothing there.
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Love this. My favorite line: "It was a work of art, Lily! A work of name-shaped art." I can totally hear Marshall saying that. *hearts*
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oh, I love them. :D
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TED IS A CLOSET TWILIGHT FAN. OH, THE PERFECTION.
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I was so, like, dazzled (yeah, I went there!) by myself that I actually wrote a prompt from you! SEE, I CAN DO IT SOMETIMES.
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And I need one too! I don't have one for some reason, which is unacceptable.
(I KNOW RIGHT. Oh, yay!)
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And, bwahaha, I was cracking myself up sort of lamely with the Ted part. Because of course, when it's serious Marshall/Lily business, Ted is always doomed to be there. And he is, of course, just cheesy enough to secretly love Twilight, TED, YOU GIRL.
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Thanks for readinggg!
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Poor Marshall, poor everyone. Stephenie Meyer, the horrors you have wrought upon the world ...
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And, oh, YOU KNOW WE COULDN'T PUT IT PAST MR. MOSBY.
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Barney and Robin having sex elsewhere (I mean, that IS why they're not there, right?)
NO QUESTION.
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(Ted reading the books is LOL. Although I missed Barney saying something about how he doesn't need to become a vampire to sparkle, he can do it with only his awesomeness and a suit)
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♥ I do enjoy your way with words.
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Also: icon love forever!!! OTP, man.