dollsome: (OFFICE » andy)
dollsome ([personal profile] dollsome) wrote2007-06-26 09:03 pm

l'amour fou (Kelly/Andy)

Title: l'amour fou
Pairing: Kelly/Andy
Word Count: 851
Rating: PG
Summary: Kelly and Andy watch Marie Antoinette. Discussion ensues. For [livejournal.com profile] office500.
Author's Note: I think my very, very favourite thing about writing Kelly is that I just get to take my own opinions on pop culture, stick a few more "totally"s in there than I might use, and then presto! Instant fic. It's so handy.


--

The night after Paris Hilton gets released from jail, Andy comes over to celebrate. They order Chinese and rent Marie Antoinette, because Paris is in France, which is where Marie Antoinette was all awesomely stylish and queenly until she got her head chopped off. It all makes sense, and Andy completely gets what she’s saying. Kelly appreciates it, because usually, when she would explain those sorts of things to Ryan, he would just stare at her for a really long time and then say something like, “Okay, whatever” and flip through his business school textbooks through the whole entire movie. And hi, you are totally not going to appreciate the fact that it’s the prettiest movie ever (except Moulin Rouge, duh) if you’re not even looking at the screen. Ryan was so lame like that.

She’s starting to think she really is better off without him. And that’s totally not just all the Kelly Clarkson she’s been listening to lately talking.

Andy seems to really like the movie – he totally rocks out when I Want Candy comes on, because he is a doof – and he talks to her during all the quiet parts that are just Kirsten Dunst looking really pretty while she takes a bath or walks down a hallway. Kelly confesses that she would totally marry Louis XVI, even though he’s sort of weird and short and socially retarded and has all those sex issues, because there are these tiny moments where he just, like, looks at Marie Antoinette, and you can completely tell that he’s totally in love with her. Besides, there’s something charming, in a weird way, about the idea of a guy who doesn’t want to just have sex all the time.

“And, yeah, Count Fersen is a babe,” Kelly concludes, “but I almost wish she hadn’t cheated on Louis, you know? He loves her so much. And it’s not his fault he’s a huge dork.” She looks over, and Andy’s just staring at her. He does that a lot.

“Andy!” she exclaims, and waves a hand in front of his face. “Hellooo?”

“Oh!” He shakes his head, like he’s just waking up. “Right. Amen. What you said. Times two – plus one hundred.” He grins.

“Were you even listening to me?” she asks, irritated. Although she guesses she probably shouldn’t blame him too much if he wasn’t. Nobody else does.

“‘He loves her so much,’” Andy repeats back dutifully, to her surprise. “‘And it’s not his fault he’s a huge dork.’”

“Oh,” she says, feeling a little bad. Maybe she shouldn’t doubt him so much. “Well . . . okay. I just think the affair thing was a huge mistake on her part.” She frowns thoughtfully. “And so was wasting all that money on cute shoes and making the poor people all mad, too, I guess.”

Andy’s quiet for so long that she starts to think he’s hypnotized by the never-ending shot of her walking up all those stairs. She can’t really blame him.

“Maybe,” he says all of a sudden, kind of low and tragic, “he never thought she could love a dork like him.”

“Why not?” Kelly asks, a little indignant.

“She’s Kirsten Dunst,” Andy reminds her impatiently. “Hot-tie cen-tral, hellooo.”

“Well, yeah,” Kelly acknowledges, because Kirsten is on her list of girls she’d change teams for.

“And he’s that dude from Slackers,” Andy continues. “And he feels unworthy of the lovely and captivating Lady Dunst, and that’s why he ignores her to make awesome mu—” He looks at her all uncomfortably, and then resumes with, “keys, ‘keys’ is what I was saying – and it takes like five years for them to get it on.”

“Maybe he should just figure out that appearances aren’t all that important,” Kelly retorts.

Andy makes a face at her. “Oh, puh-leeze!”

“They aren’t,” Kelly insists, glaring at him. “And besides, I think he’s kinda cute. In a weird way.”

Andy gets all still, right in the middle of bringing a piece of teriyaki chicken to his mouth, and just looks at her. Then he lets out this little disbelieving, happy laugh, which is kind of a weird reaction. He leans forward a little bit, so their knees touch. “Really?”

“I dunno,” she responds, shrugging. “Don’t you think Jason Schwartzman is kinda cute?”

“Oh,” he says, kind of sadly. She doesn’t get him sometimes. Still, he’s better to hang out with than Ryan.

He leans over quickly to grab a fortune cookie off the coffeetable, and when he sits back again, their knees don’t touch anymore.

“Heyyy,” he says sort of loudly, in that extra-emphatic way he has sometimes, “is she ever going to stop climbing those stairs?”

“You sat on the pause button, dork,” she points out, swatting him on the arm.

He presses play again, and she gets totally sucked into the movie right away, which is good. Otherwise, she would be completely freaked out by the fact that she thinks she might miss Andy’s knee a little bit. And sorry, but no way is she getting involved with another guy at work. She’s not stupid.

[identity profile] littledivinity.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
EEEP! KANDY! God, Nita, this was adorable! And made me kind of want to give Marie Antoinette another shot! Because,awww, knee touching is the BEST!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:21 am (UTC)(link)
Aww, thank youuuuuu! :)

And, dude, I think all the evidence is pointing in favour of you watching MA again. It's destiny, my friend!

[identity profile] paper-jam11.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
“Maybe,” he says all of a sudden, kind of low and tragic, “he never thought she could love a dork like him.”

Ha! Heartbreaking and hilarious at the same time. Fantastic!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:24 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, thank you! :)

[identity profile] elsbeth-lynn.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 07:16 am (UTC)(link)
Swear to God, you could sell me on any pairing. These two are as adorable and heartbreaking as Louis and Marie.* This part truly made me laugh out loud:

“Heyyy,” he says sort of loudly, in that extra-emphatic way he has sometimes, “is she ever going to stop climbing those stairs?”

“You sat on the pause button, dork,” she points out, swatting him on the arm.


*(I've been telling anyone who will listen that really! They have to give Marie Antoinette a go! Besides the amaaaazing[/Kelly] soundtrack, the whole movie would be worth a rental just for the dreamy night time party scene under the tent, where they're playing games and passing around a joint-ish smokey thing.)

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:32 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, thank you so much! :) I'm glad I have you feelin' the Kandy love.

(And yes! Marie Antoinette is responsible for the near-utter consumption of my brain at present, or at least my userpic spaces. Pretty, pretty, weirdly compelling movie.)

[identity profile] quesrah.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 10:21 am (UTC)(link)
Ew, I think you just gave me a crush on Andy Bernard. Thanks for that! :D

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:35 am (UTC)(link)
Join the club, honey. :D

Thank you for reading!

[identity profile] kyrafic.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, man, SO good -- all the layers of their conversation that Kelly's completely unaware of, and Andy's knee, and Marie Antoinette!

She’s starting to think she really is better off without him. And that’s totally not just all the Kelly Clarkson she’s been listening to lately talking.

Hahahaha, oh, KELLY.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:38 am (UTC)(link)
Aww, thank you so much! :)

And, dude, every time I listen to Kelly Clarkson, I think of Kelly in her new post-Ryan world. There seems to be a "we were so happy until you ripped my still-beating heart out, but damned if I care, because I'm empowered now and you continue to SUCK" theme going on in, oh, every single one of her songs. It's so delightfully appropriate!

[identity profile] jesshelga.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 01:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Kandy is the best! What a perfect movie for the two of them to watch together, most especially for the Jason Schwartzman discussion. Eeeeeeeeeee!

I hope this is all build-up to some awkward yet enthusiastic making out. Kandy! Yay!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:42 am (UTC)(link)
Thank youuuuuu, thank you! :D

What a perfect movie for the two of them to watch together

Originally, they weren't even supposed to watch a movie, but then the whole Paris-leads-to-France-leads-to-Marie-Antoinette progression struck me in the Kelly section of my brain, and . . . there was no hope from there on.

I hope this is all build-up to some awkward yet enthusiastic making out.

Oh, someday, my friend! Someday.

[identity profile] merfdawg.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 02:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Kandy is like summer of 2007 and beyond so odd that it's totally right love. Andy and Kelly are like a perfect match. Great work with this! I love the last line especially because that is totally something that Kelly would come up with.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:44 am (UTC)(link)
Aw, thank you so much! :)

Kandy is like summer of 2007 and beyond so odd that it's totally right love.

WORD. Somebody put that on a t-shirt!

[identity profile] sycamoregirl.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
The Kandy love becomes stronger with each new story. I so need more of them, and I am anxiously awaiting the moment when she realizes all the awesome things about Andy.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
Aw, yay! I'm glad these are strengthening your Kandy love. :D

I am anxiously awaiting the moment when she realizes all the awesome things about Andy

I'm right there with you! She'll get there eventually. ;-)

[identity profile] likeatuesday.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Funny, my friend and I had just slated Marie Antoinette to be next on our movie list of Movies That Will Kill Our Brain Cells But Make Us Go '... PRETTTTYYYYY' While They Fizzle and Die.

Again, with the Kandy. It's so sad, but I kind of love them. Dammit.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:47 am (UTC)(link)
Movies That Will Kill Our Brain Cells But Make Us Go '... PRETTTTYYYYY' While They Fizzle and Die

Hahaha, ftw!

Thanks for reading. :D I'm glad you are being wooed by the Kandy. It warms me heart and soul, much like instant oatmeal!

[identity profile] sundancekid.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I like this a lot! I love the way they're having two different conversations and Andy's totally getting hopeful but Kelly's just rambling about whatever and then she misses his KNEE. Oh, subtext. <3.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:47 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, thank you! :D

(YOUR ICON. Oh, Andrew Bernard.)

(Anonymous) 2007-06-27 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
What a great pairing! I love how Kelly can be herself with him and Andy just lets her - they really are like Louis/Marie!

"And so was wasting all that money on cute shoes and making the poor people all mad, too, I guess.”
LMBO - oh, Kelly.

I feel like we mind-melded or something. I LOVE LOUIS XVI SO MUCH MARIE ANTOINETTE YOU SLUT. I love that you excluded Ferson from your new icons - thank you. That affair felt so out of place, just there for the sake of being there.

Anywho, great fic!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, thank you so much! :)

And, dude, the whole Count Fersen thing caused me way more distress than is probably, um, sane. It's like they just needed a gorgeous sex scene, ergo highly random and pointless affair. I was very happy when Wikipedia told me there's not even substantial evidence that it ever happened.

[identity profile] hkath.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I am *totally* shipping Kelly/Andy now because of you and you alone :D :D :D

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
YAY! :D I am heartily glad of this!

Thanks for readinggggg!

[identity profile] rockkstar135.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
of course! This Kandy is amazing. I can not believe how well you write for Andy! The whole part where he sits on the remoteis the cutest part! I am totally shipping K/A from now on. Screw Ryan and his Business books!

Your stories make me fall in love with this pairing. Every time.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, yay, I'm glad! :D Thank you so much!

[identity profile] noblealice.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, this was amazing. I am surprisingly in love with this idea now. I hope to see more!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
Aw, thank you so much! :)

And fear not. There will very probably be more Kandy mighty soon. I cannot resist them!

[identity profile] sartorialspy.livejournal.com 2007-06-27 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Andy seems to really like the movie – he totally rocks out when I Want Candy comes on

*snicker*

Oh, I give up. I want Kandy, too, thanks to you!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
Haha! There was no way I could resist that line. :D Because, well . . . yeah.

Thank youuuuu! :)

[identity profile] firthgal.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Another amazing and perfect story! You have no idea how much I love you for creating this pairing!!! You write them so perfectly, and you capture Andy's dorky cuteness so magnificently, and of course your Kelly is spot on because I never know what she's talking about, and it is so freaking adorable that Andy does! Oh, I love them! They so belong together! Please, please, please keep writing for this ship, you're amazing!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, thank you so much! :) I'm so glad you're enjoying them, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be writing more Kandy adventures soon!

[identity profile] quietdrive.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
Wonderful!

The night after Paris Hilton gets released from jail... is probably the best way to start any Kelly!fic, because I am entirely certain that she marks the days around celebrity's lives.

Kelly/Andy is my new Office pairing. ^_^

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 07:59 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, thank you so much!

I love writing Kelly largely because it gives me a reason to put my really lame celebrity knowledge to practical(ish) use. And you just know that Paris being let out was downright monumental for her. :D

[identity profile] mcmuffins-js.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, how awesome! I am SO sold on Kelly/Andy, especially when written so well!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:00 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! :) I'm glad you're sold on the Kandy.

[identity profile] sweet-seventeen.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
*says quietly* Umm, I really liked Marie Antionette. A lot! LOL, some of the other comments almost made me ashamed, but I will NEVER be ashamed because I LOVE LOUS XVI TOO OMG. He was so adorable in that movie, oh Jason Schawrtzman. The whole conversation about him between Kelly and ANdy was exactly what I was thinking and hilarious! "It's not his fault he's a huge dork." HAHAHAHA! AWESOME. <3 I really liked this.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, dude, I completely loved the movie, too; I'm right there with ya. And Louis XVI might just have to be one of the new loves of my life! (When depicted by Jason Schwartzman, anyway.)

Thank you so much for reading! :) :)

[identity profile] aggiegurl22.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, you had me at this line: "The night after Paris Hilton gets released from jail, Andy comes over to celebrate."

So cute! It would make my life if Kandy happened on the show!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:02 am (UTC)(link)
Heh, thank you so much! :)

It would make my life if Kandy happened on the show!

Right there with ya, my friend!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_missmargaret_/ 2007-06-28 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
KANDY!!

How do you feel about devoting your entire summer to feeing my Kandy Addiction? Oh you don't mind at all! Great! :)

Seriously, you've made this my new JAM.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
How do you feel about devoting your entire summer to feeing my Kandy Addiction?

A worthier cause, I cannot imagine! :D

I'm so glad you're loving the Kandy. Thank youuu!

[identity profile] regalish.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
Awwwww, KANDY. This fic settles it for me: I must ship them!!

This was SOOOOO cute, babe! I love Kelly's internal monologue (she IS fun to write, isn't she??), and OMGKNEETOUCHING.

Andy's adorkable. Hope you'll do more like this soon!!

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
KANDY MUST BE SHIPPED! I'm glad this settled it for you. :D

Thank youuuuuuu, dear!!

[identity profile] puckhiggins.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
just... so... cute... can't... handle.... cuteness.... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

another great fic!!! :-)

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
Heeeee, thank you! :)

[identity profile] mph0506.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
That is probably one of the greatest first lines in a fic I have ever read. Paris Hilton out of jail! Andy/Kelly celebrating! Ha ha!

But this is one of those unusual pairings that I really dig, which is wonderfully exemplified by this. Great job!

And now I see I have no Kelly OR Andy icon. I need to take care of that, STAT!

(found via the scranton times, btw)

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, thank you so much! :) I'm glad you liked it.

And while being Kelly OR Andy icon-less is a dire situation, at least you've got JIMFACE!KAREN. Love love love. Times like twelve.

[identity profile] irishmizzy.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
So, SO fantastic, with Kelly and Andy and Marie Antoinette and celebrating Paris' release from jail and awesome Kelly-logic about, you know, EVERYTHING. And then their KNEES and Andy's so earnest and Kelly just doesn't get it. Oh, Kandy.

[identity profile] dollsome.livejournal.com 2007-06-29 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
:D :D Thank youuuuu!

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