Damn. I don't even watch American Idol (it scares me sometimes that I know all the subplots for it though - lousy vacuous mass media). Anyway, the point is that you are so damned awesome I don't know what to say.

Your Michael part in the middle was one of the funniest things I've ever read. And anything with Kelly is funny, but yours is funnier.

(I had to look up Haley. She's not that hot. Not wallpaper at work worthy, at any rate.)

-Alex Wert