It has been ages since a fanfic made me laugh out loud.

I especially loved this part:

". . . and aren't all love stories supposed to end with sex, anyway?" Ron demands miserably. "But oh no. Not me and Hermione. She's always got to make everything all bloody impossible." He sighs. "Women, huh?"

Pig doesn't say anything back, of course, but it's nice to know that someone's listening.