The thing about Dennis Calvinson in his parents' vacation house by the lake the summer before tenth grade, and Manuel Phillips in a hotel room after (his) senior prom, and Katie Jenkins in her hot tub after after (her) prom, and Puck, in any one of a ridiculous variety of locales, and yes, alright, Finn that one time-- the thing is, Santana isn't ever going to help them with their algebra homework, or spend three hours (or maybe six hours or, okay, alright, three days) picking out their birthday present, or french braid their hair at six o'clock on a Wednesday night just because she can. The thing about Dennis Calvinson is that he's too loud. The thing about Manuel Phillips is that he wanted to introduce her to his parents (seriously-- seriously!). Katie Jenkins owned one too many polo shirts, and Puck is kind of an asshole anyway, and Finn is so hung up on Ms. Rachel "Excuse Me While I Hit You Over The Head With The Entirety of The Broadway Canon" Berry that he probably doesn't even understand how totally mind-blowing sex with Santana actually was. He probably doesn't even appreciate that she did him a total favor, Jesus.

Besides which, none of them ever looked at her with giant eyes and a wobbly lower lip and said, "You'll be my best friend, right? I don't think I get to have one otherwise," which was probably simultaneously the single best thing about fifth grade and the saddest thing Santana's ever seen, not that she's going to tell anyone about it, ever.

Santana considers and rejects all of this, and instead texts, i'll give u a ride home babe, meet me in parking lot after school because, well. It's an awful lot simpler.