So, it's pretty much like jackpot, because you're out with your girls, all ready to get your drink on and your dance on, and the only problem -- like usual -- is the total lack of actual men who are interesting or attractive or even worth your attention for reasons of the non-Well at least I get a free drink out of it variety. But then, right at the bar, like a gift from God and also validation that God, too, gets that Matthew Goode is super fine and every girl deserves one of her very own: two British guys. You aren't even kidding. Two super fine British guys. Like, okay, neither of them are Matthew Goode. One's super fine in that super English dark hair pasty skin way, where if he didn't have a British accent he'd mostly just look sort of nerdy, but the accent totally casts a hottie pall over his whole existence. The other one looks like he is trying to be that British singer from the eighties. Billy Elliot? Oh my God. Maybe it is Billy Elliot.
You're totally going to grab Melissa and Katie and straight up drag them over there -- well, okay, maybe just Melissa because Katie is too hot for her own good sometimes and hi, there are only two, and you are so not passing up on your opportunity for one of them. But then you start to listen to their conversation. At first just because, accents. Sigh.
But then--
Well, what everyone needs to know here, first and foremost, is that that Eminem and Rihanna song is playing. And it doesn't matter if Megan Fox makes out with a hobbit in the music video; the fact remains that this song is depressing. Like, who is going to dance and have a good time to THIS? Except crazy people.
And, well:
"Love this one," says Billy Elliot. He downs his drink in one gulp. "Really resonates, y'know? Really sums it all up. Always wished I could do that. Sum it all up. God knows I bloody tried. So many poems ..."
"Oh, man, this song's like my anthem," says Only Hot 'Cause He's British. "Actually did tie her to the bed. Oh, God, Tara. TAAAAAAAARA. You should have seen her. Christ, she was this glorious mess of limbs and hate and indignation. And hair. Really -- intricate hair. She bashed my bloody skull to a pulp. Where am I going to find another one like her, hmm, William? Just -- tell -- me -- whe-e-ere--"
(OH MY GOD, 'BILLY' IS TOTALLY SHORT FOR 'WILLIAM.' Called it! Not that that makes this any less disturbing for you, of course.)
"Wish I could, mate," Billy Elliot says morosely. "Mine never went quite that far, but oy, did she bash my heart in. My heart's head was a bloody pulp. Always a bloody game of tug of war with that girl: I'll shag you, I hate you, I'll shag you, I hate you, oops!, had a bit of a cuddle and a conversation there, God forbid I be happy with a vampire whose forehead isn't the size of Maine, I'd best dump you now! Enjoy the bloody curb, darling, 'cause here's me kicking you to it." He sighs. "Girl had a kick on her, all right--"
"She liked my silky lovemaking pajamas," sighs Only Hot 'Cause He's British. "D'you know rare that is??"
Billy Elliot snorts. "Gotta say, mate, I can imagine."
true blood/btvs | franklin & spike | an abundance of window pane (1/2)
You're totally going to grab Melissa and Katie and straight up drag them over there -- well, okay, maybe just Melissa because Katie is too hot for her own good sometimes and hi, there are only two, and you are so not passing up on your opportunity for one of them. But then you start to listen to their conversation. At first just because, accents. Sigh.
But then--
Well, what everyone needs to know here, first and foremost, is that that Eminem and Rihanna song is playing. And it doesn't matter if Megan Fox makes out with a hobbit in the music video; the fact remains that this song is depressing. Like, who is going to dance and have a good time to THIS? Except crazy people.
And, well:
"Love this one," says Billy Elliot. He downs his drink in one gulp. "Really resonates, y'know? Really sums it all up. Always wished I could do that. Sum it all up. God knows I bloody tried. So many poems ..."
"Oh, man, this song's like my anthem," says Only Hot 'Cause He's British. "Actually did tie her to the bed. Oh, God, Tara. TAAAAAAAARA. You should have seen her. Christ, she was this glorious mess of limbs and hate and indignation. And hair. Really -- intricate hair. She bashed my bloody skull to a pulp. Where am I going to find another one like her, hmm, William? Just -- tell -- me -- whe-e-ere--"
(OH MY GOD, 'BILLY' IS TOTALLY SHORT FOR 'WILLIAM.' Called it! Not that that makes this any less disturbing for you, of course.)
"Wish I could, mate," Billy Elliot says morosely. "Mine never went quite that far, but oy, did she bash my heart in. My heart's head was a bloody pulp. Always a bloody game of tug of war with that girl: I'll shag you, I hate you, I'll shag you, I hate you, oops!, had a bit of a cuddle and a conversation there, God forbid I be happy with a vampire whose forehead isn't the size of Maine, I'd best dump you now! Enjoy the bloody curb, darling, 'cause here's me kicking you to it." He sighs. "Girl had a kick on her, all right--"
"She liked my silky lovemaking pajamas," sighs Only Hot 'Cause He's British. "D'you know rare that is??"
Billy Elliot snorts. "Gotta say, mate, I can imagine."