OMG, this is brilliant. Love it. LOVE IT. I will not lie, Uther telling Morgana to eat her potatoes was my favorite bit (I'm sorry, I cannot help myself). But oooooh, Arthur and Merlin are so magnificently chauvinistic in this! And Morgana and Gwen are so awesomely kickass! And Gaius was reenacting Arthur's gallantry with a steak knife! Arthur yearns to be deflowered by a giant green knight! Oh, it is all so lovely, and somehow, when you remind us that Uther has canonically had sex with a troll, several times, the entire story seems perfectly plausible.