THIS IS THE PART WHERE I QUOTE YOUR ENTIRE STORY BACK AT YOU. (BECAUSE OF THE AMAZING.)
he’d at least know that she likes Monster in Law way better than Maid in Manhattan because Michael Vartan is way hotter than Ralph Fiennes and has never played Voldemort and therefore isn’t tattooed on her brain as a creepy noseless freak.
IT'S TRUE. I can no longer watch Mr. Fiennes in any movie without picturing that.
and it looks like you let Dwight dye your hair with his pee
OH GOD, THANK YOU. Kelly NEEDS to react to Ryan's hair.
Kelly tries to remind herself that Pam is going to be so fat pretty soon.
I love this. It's just so offhandedly bitchy.
Oscar is the most disappointing gay guy she’s ever known. Especially because he’s the only gay guy she’s ever known. (Although sometimes she wonders a little about Andy, who would make a way better gay.)
YEEESSS. FEEL THE OSCAR/ANDY LOOOVE.
They hold hands and start cracking up about Dwight telling them to name their baby Gaius, or Godric, but under no circumstances Voldemort, Anakin, or Admiral Cain.
I just LOVE all of the background, almost throw away Dwight moments in here, that's what makes it SO true to the show, there's always something happening in the background.
“Sauron Dwight Kurt Schrute Beesly Halpert. The Third.” “The Fifth.” “Sorry. I’m really bad with numbers.”
OHHH, JAM. I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU DELIGHTFUL.
“I know,” Kelly agrees, because Andy is pretty much the best single guy in the office (not that that’s saying much, like, who’s his competition? Creed? Anyway, Kelly is secretly convinced that Creed has like at least eight wives scattered across the globe), “but Angela fully like broke his heart and screwed him over and he must have so much emotional damage. Also, I kind of want him to be gay.” “Oh,” Erin says, looking sort of surprised. “Well, um. Maybe Oscar—” “Oscar is gay.” “Oh. Gosh. I feel like I should have known that.”
LOLOLOL.
*THAT PARAGRAPH WHERE KELLY EXPLAINS DM TO ERIN*
THIS IS SO PERFECT. LIKE, IT IS SCRANTON.
But a girl? So pretty! I want to! It’d be like jewelry on your skin.
LOLOLOL. KELLY MAKES ME WANT TO LOVE TWILIGHT.
“Love is love, people!” Michael exclaims one sweltering afternoon in the conference room, because Oscar is dating some new guy who walked him to the elevator this morning and kissed him goodbye and Michael just so happened to see it and is now just, like, totally, totally freaking. “It doesn’t matter if who you love is a man when you’re a man, or a woman when you’re a woman, or a donkey when you are – with two legs, and human parts. The point is, love is a force of transcendentalism. I believe Ghandi said that.”
no subject
he’d at least know that she likes Monster in Law way better than Maid in Manhattan because Michael Vartan is way hotter than Ralph Fiennes and has never played Voldemort and therefore isn’t tattooed on her brain as a creepy noseless freak.
IT'S TRUE. I can no longer watch Mr. Fiennes in any movie without picturing that.
and it looks like you let Dwight dye your hair with his pee
OH GOD, THANK YOU. Kelly NEEDS to react to Ryan's hair.
Kelly tries to remind herself that Pam is going to be so fat pretty soon.
I love this. It's just so offhandedly bitchy.
Oscar is the most disappointing gay guy she’s ever known. Especially because he’s the only gay guy she’s ever known.
(Although sometimes she wonders a little about Andy, who would make a way better gay.)
YEEESSS. FEEL THE OSCAR/ANDY LOOOVE.
They hold hands and start cracking up about Dwight telling them to name their baby Gaius, or Godric, but under no circumstances Voldemort, Anakin, or Admiral Cain.
I just LOVE all of the background, almost throw away Dwight moments in here, that's what makes it SO true to the show, there's always something happening in the background.
“Sauron Dwight Kurt Schrute Beesly Halpert. The Third.”
“The Fifth.”
“Sorry. I’m really bad with numbers.”
OHHH, JAM. I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU DELIGHTFUL.
“I know,” Kelly agrees, because Andy is pretty much the best single guy in the office (not that that’s saying much, like, who’s his competition? Creed? Anyway, Kelly is secretly convinced that Creed has like at least eight wives scattered across the globe), “but Angela fully like broke his heart and screwed him over and he must have so much emotional damage. Also, I kind of want him to be gay.”
“Oh,” Erin says, looking sort of surprised. “Well, um. Maybe Oscar—”
“Oscar is gay.”
“Oh. Gosh. I feel like I should have known that.”
LOLOLOL.
*THAT PARAGRAPH WHERE KELLY EXPLAINS DM TO ERIN*
THIS IS SO PERFECT. LIKE, IT IS SCRANTON.
But a girl? So pretty! I want to! It’d be like jewelry on your skin.
LOLOLOL. KELLY MAKES ME WANT TO LOVE TWILIGHT.
“Love is love, people!” Michael exclaims one sweltering afternoon in the conference room, because Oscar is dating some new guy who walked him to the elevator this morning and kissed him goodbye and Michael just so happened to see it and is now just, like, totally, totally freaking. “It doesn’t matter if who you love is a man when you’re a man, or a woman when you’re a woman, or a donkey when you are – with two legs, and human parts. The point is, love is a force of transcendentalism. I believe Ghandi said that.”
OHHHH, MISTER SCOTT! ♥.
ONTO PART TWOO