dollsome: (office; oscar)
Title: A Bit of Both
Characters/Pairing: Oscar/Gabe, general Office ensemble
Word Count: 3,276
Rating: PG
Spoilers: general through season 6
Summary: Oscar and Gabe vie for Warehouse Hottie Matt's affections. It's hard to say who does worse.
Author's Note: Dear The Office,
Can this happen in season 7 please?
Love,
Me.

I dream big.



All's fair in love and war, and this is a bit of both. )
dollsome: (office; michael + holly)
Title: or am i standing still
Pairing: Michael/Holly
Word Count: 2,274
Spoilers: through "Business Trip"; set in speculative future land
Rating: PG
Summary: Michael, Holly, and moving on.
Author's Note: Aaaughhh, what's wrong with me, IT'S LIKE A SICKNESS. It's like the universe suddenly went, 'Hmm, November. Finals. Thousands upon thousands of words of terrifying essays due. National Novel Writing Month! I KNOW. Now is time for you to make up for not writing any Office fic for a year!!'

It's just ... the only explanation I can even come up with, damn it.

I don't even really know why I wrote this, other than to let out my feelings. Which are bountiful, and tormented. (To the point where they drive me to quote Jewel in my poorly crafted titles, zounds.) Oh, Michael/Holly. ♥

Once she moves back to Nashua, Holly settles in again pretty fast. )
dollsome: (office | angela)
Title: the ups and downs of next to you
Pairing: Angela & Oscar
Spoilers: Spans from early on (pre-series? You decide!) to Speculative Season 5 Land
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,747
Summary: Four times Angela wants to move away from Oscar, and one time she's glad that she's where she is.
Author's Note: Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] musical_junkie for the excellent prompt, and to my homework for being so damn easy to ignore!

And, wow, I had to do a spot of editing there and change Angela's Opposite Of Art, It Destroys Art, It's So Much More Offensive To Oscar Than Hardcore Porn baby poster from firefighters to musicians! I have no idea why I remembered it as firefighters. A definite sign I've been away from this show for too long.

Oscar's typing is abnormally loud. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » jim & pam)
Title: ever afters
Pairing(s): Ryan/Kelly, Michael/Jan, Dwight/Angela, Jim/Pam
Spoilers: through "The Job"
Word Count: 1,014
Rating: PG
Summary: Endings, angry dogs, beet fields, and beginnings. In that order. (The romantic aftermath of The Job.)
Author's Note: This started as just the Ryan/Kelly section, and then I couldn't resist fleshing it out a little. Because it's Sunday, and I have a history paper I need to be writing, and avoiding productivity? It's sort of my thing.

This is how the breakup goes-- )
dollsome: (office; ryan + kelly)
Title: homecoming and other horror stories
Character/Pairing: Ryan, with some hints at Ryan/Kelly and . . . Ryan/Michael?
Spoilers: through "The Job," as well as very slight ones for this promo
Word Count: 1,540
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryan’s return to the Scranton branch doesn’t go exactly as planned, which he probably should’ve seen coming.
Author's Note: Oh, the season three Office DVDs fully reignited my love of Ryan. And torturing him.

And, just in case anyone gets curious (as well you should be), the fine Flight of the Conchords musical masterpieces referenced within are as follows: Bret, You've Got It Goin' On; Robots (although, tragically, the part I referenced actually isn't in the video! But . . . watch anyway); Business Time. And I'm not saying I wrote this whole story for the sole purpose of converting anyone who might chance to read it to Flight of the Conchords, or anything, but, well . . . if I did succeed in doing so, it would be the finest of my glories. Because they are Just. That. Great.

But, er, moving on--

'Y’know, Jan used to have your job,' Michael reflects, eyeing him happily from across the desk. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » michael)
Title: love is a burnin' thing
Pairing: Michael/Jan
Spoilers: through "The Job"
Word Count: 832
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It’s Thanksgiving, and when Jan tries to cook, the situation heats up. On account of the flames. Lucky Michael.
Author's Note: Man, this is the first time I've written these two crazy kids in ages. See, I came up with this really ingenious plan earlier to shuffle through my iTunes, get the first ten song titles that came up, and write drabbles based on each song title. However, because I am me, I managed one reasonably-sized fic instead. So, thanks for that, 'Sweet Potato' by Sia!

So, guess how Michael spends his Thanksgiving? )
dollsome: (OFFICE » andy)
Title: Chivalry and the Citrus-Flavored Beverage (Or, Andy Bernard's Quest for Wall-Punching Redemption)
Pairing: Kelly/Andy
Spoilers: through "The Job"
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,942
Summary: Ryan returns, to the great distress of everyone. Andy tries to ease the suffering.
Author's Note: KANDY. Yeah, that's all.

And, um, just in case anyone's curious, Andy's cat Montgomery is named after Elizabeth Montgomery, his secret ultimate dream woman. Bewitched is his favourite show in the history of ever. I don't know why. I just decided. It's all in the subtext. Or something.

The second that Big Turkey, Dunder Mifflin Scranton Betrayer slash Totally Despised Asshole Jerk, takes off after his first meeting with Michael, drama erupts. Big, big drama. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » pam)
Title: your own kind of music
Pairing: Primarily ensemble, with some Jim/Pam in there
Spoilers: minor ones up to "Safety Training"
Word Count: 3,387
Rating: PG
Summary: Andy beatboxes, Kelly enlists Oscar in the support of a different Ryan, Angela is appropriately scandalized, Michael decides that votes are like paper, and Pam over-identifies with Jim's sensitive guy music. This . . . is what happens when your author watches too much American Idol.
Author's Note: So, um, I have this really shameful problem where I have gotten totally into American Idol (it was never going to get me! I went five years without being remotely interested! And oh, I suppose I was doomed to fall into its clutches sooner or later) and thus really uninspired about . . . you know, awesome fictional stuff. But [livejournal.com profile] yourmomroxxs suggested that I do a fic blending The Office and American Idol, and I figured, hey. Our Dunder Mifflin Scrantonites are American. Maybe they suffer just as I do. Or something.

These don't all necessarily take place on the same day, because that would mean that they're as obsessed as I am, and that would just be sad.

Random notes!

Haley's by far my favourite contestant this year, I don't think it's anything approaching a big deal that she wore shorts (gasp! shock!), and I love the girl to death. But I had to forsake my personal preference in the face of the fact that Angela quite simply would not feel the same way.

Um, certain sentiments that Kelly voices repeatedly throughout this absolutely in no way reflect, say, my personal views, and quite simply . . . felt organic for her character, is all. Er, never mind the lj layout. I have no idea how that got there.

Also, this is, obviously, set before this past week's traumatic Idol happenings. Tear. Godspeed, Mr. Malakar. Godspeed.

Also also, I believe this is my first time writing Andy. Eep.

Also also ALSO (this is the author's note that ate your life), shout-out to [livejournal.com profile] fireworkfiasco's amaaaazing 5 Reasons Why Being Gay Is Totally Awesome, which went there first with the Kelly/Oscar friendship and Kelly's way true Rymon suspicions. It will enrich your life so much!!

Bmmp—bchee—mm-bop-ba-bop-bop-mm-chickee-chickee-mm-bermph! BMMP. Meep-NEERP, oo-ahmph— NEERP, mm— )
dollsome: (office; ryan + kelly)
Title: Best Day Ever?
Pairing: Ryan/Kelly
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,000
Spoilers: "Business School"
Summary: Sitting roughly four feet away from Kelly from nine to five -- take one. (Godspeed, Mr. Howard. Godspeed.)
Author's Note: This started spilling out of my brain while I should have been getting ready for class this morning, and then decided to be temperamental and not let me finish it until tonight. Meh. On the plus side, Ryan and Kelly really just make me happy.

Kelly laces her fingers through his as they step into the elevator. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » michael)
Title: step away from me, michael
Pairings: Jan/Michael, Jim/Pam, Oscar/Gil
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,158
Spoilers: from after "The Client" to "A Benihana Christmas"
Summary: Five people who have considered obtaining restraining orders against Michael Scott.
Author's Note: This is just me being silly. :D Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] falseeeyelashes for the prompt!


Would I rather be feared or loved? )
dollsome: (OFFICE » michael & oscar)
Title: aren't we a pair?
Pairings: Gil/Michael, Oscar/Gil, Michael/Jan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4,477
Spoilers: Up through A Benihana Christmas; set a few weeks afterward
Summary: Gil tags along to Dunder Mifflin Scranton's Welcome Back Oscar! Fiesta, and Michael winds up finding an unexpected new friend. (Or, more specifically, friend slash would-be-lover-in-an-alternate-universe.)
Author's Note: Oh, man, I had irrational amounts of fun with this one. Possibly the most fun I've had writing for this fandom thus far, which is really saying something because I get way too giddy at the prospect of spending time with any of these characters.

You see, in terms of what this fic has going on for it, there's the fact that there's Gil. I have crazy, irrational amounts of love for Gil. (And his scarves.) Gil/Oscar is totally my "we've only had twenty seconds of screentime together but that was more than enough to win [livejournal.com profile] dollsome's heart" OTP.

And then, there is the fact that Michael is a spaz, and only gets spazzier where, say, homosexuality is concerned. There are few things more fun to write than spaz Michael.

Throw in a little unexpected mushiness, and really, it's the most-fun-to-write fic ever. WHEE!

Also, this fic operates under the assumption that the Jamaica trip went very, very well. ;-)

(And yes, I stole Send in the Clowns lyrics for the title, because Barbra Streisand is a goddess among mere mortals. Seriously.)


Oscar is staring at Gil very, very gravely. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » ryan & michael)
Title: Brokeback (Dunder) Mifflin?
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble, with Ryan/Kelly, Dwight/Angela, Michael/Jan, Pam missing Jim, and Michael/Ryan. Sort of.
Spoilers: Set after 3x05 - "Initiation"
Word Count: 5,723
Summary: It's Halloween at the office, and, drawing his costume inspiration from a certain Ledger-and-Gyllenhaal flick, Michael wishes he knew how to quit Ryan. Everyone else just wishes they knew how to quit. Featuring Dwight's Lost obsession, increasingly pissed-off!Jan, and a paper mâché head!
Author's Note: Oh, man, this was fun. These characters bring me far more joy and entertainment than can possibly be healthy.


Michael tips his cowboy hat at the camera. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » michael)
Title: certainty and cold hard fact
Spoilers: Set before the Jan/Michael scene in Branch Closing
Word Count: 1,752
Summary: Sometimes it feels like her whole life has come to revolve around Michael Scott. The thought makes her ill and a little light-headed, and usually drives her to the nearest pack of cigarettes.
Author's Note: Because, sure, she was more or less professionalism and poise personified in the episode, but surely she must have been at least a little antsy. Oh, Jan. You and your unwavering facades. I love Jan.

It's a two and a half hour drive to Scranton. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » angela)
Title: Wanton Faux Professionalism
Characters: Angela, Jan, Michael, Dwight
Pairings: Angela/Jan (gen), Michael/Jan
Spoilers: Set during Boys and Girls
Word Count: 1,983
Summary: The paper industry is no place for a shameless femme fatale. That much should be obvious, and yet Angela can’t help suspecting that she’s the only one who sees it.
Author's Note: This one's weird, and honestly, I have no idea how I feel about it. Writing Angela is intimidating, just because . . . well, Angela's intimidating, and such a specific character. But I saw that nothing had been written yet for the Angela/Jan prompt on [livejournal.com profile] office_romances, and my mind ran away with me. Alas, this was much better in my head. Ain't that always the way?


Angela has perfectly nice legs. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » michael)
Title: Five Reasons Michael's Glad He Picked Carol
Pairing: Michael/Carol, Michael/Denial, Michael/Jan
Spoilers: Season 3, up to Initiation (if you squint)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,113

Jan can be bitchy. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » michael)
So, um, I have an essay due tomorrow that I haven't even brainstormed yet. But a random line from this popped into my head, and [livejournal.com profile] thepodsquad fully encouraged me to write. If I flunk out of college, I'm so blamin' her.

Anyway, this is my ode to Michael and Jan's glorious, glorious telephone conversations. Therefore, I'm lazy, and it's dialogue only. Just imagine Michael sitting at his desk and those fandamntastic zoom-ins to the telephone when Jan speaks. Oh, those never fail to crack me up. Also, when you let Michael start to talk, it is damn near impossible to get him to stop. I have now learned this the hard way.


Title: Hung Up (Or - The Mysterious Absence of The Dundies in Season Three)
Pairing: Michael/Jan
Spoilers: General season 3
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,337
Summary: Michael tries to cope with a traumatic loss. Jan gets to deal with it.

Bros before hos. )
dollsome: (OFFICE » michael)
Yet another somewhat epic one-shot Office fanfic! Hee, I was actually up until like 5:30 in the morning with this one, before I finally had to surrender to the fact that I could no longer form a coherent sentence. But, anyway, it was big, big fun to write. Oh, I do so love these two crazy kids.


Title: Crazy
Pairing: Michael/Jan
Spoilers: Set during the end of Boys and Girls; references to The Client and Performance Review
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4,455
Summary: The phone calls. The fact that her blouse smelled like his cheap, tasteless cologne. The e-card with the dancing teddy bears. The horrible, entirely un-Michael-esque sincerity with which he threw “I miss you” into every one of the thirty-seven messages he left her. Part of her had felt terrible about regretting every second of that stupid, stupid night; it was so painfully clear that he thought this was the start of something real.


Jan knows - very, very well - that Michael drives her out of her mind. )

June 2016

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